The Promise
by xxFallingSkiesxx
Summary: Taylor made a promise to a childhood best friend. It was simple; if anything were to happen to Hope, then Taylor agreed to take care of Punk and their baby. The hypothetical agreement soon becomes reality, and slowly things begin to change. The truth comes to light, and soon three people realize everything isn't that easy. What was a promise, soon becomes so much more...
1. Chapter 1

The moment the doctor told us the news, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like the world was crumbling down and now nothing would make sense without her. Hope was my best friend; God she was like my sister. Now she's gone. Her fiancé, Phil, or Punk as he preferred to be called, was sitting beside her bed, still holding on to her cold hand. I could hear his wretched sobs, as my heart broke further.

"Taylor, you ready to go see Emma-Lynn?" Arms wrapped around my waist, as John whispered into my ear. Shaking my head, I turned around in John's arms and he pulled me closer to him; if possible. I never before realized how hard it is to talk when you're sobbing.

"Johnny, she's gone. My best friend is gone! Emma-Lynn doesn't have a mom, and Punk doesn't have a fiancée. Why the hell did this have to happen?"

As John ran his fingers through my brunette hair, I felt him choke back a sob. John Cena, my boyfriend of three years, crying. Then again, none of us thought we'd ever be here.

"Um, I'm sorry to interrupt," the nurse whose name tag read Lucy interrupted, "but I was wondering if Mr. Brooks would like to hold his daughter?"

I couldn't answer her, so John replied,

"Sure. Just be careful; he's a wreck." The young nurse solemnly nodded and headed into the room. We looked to see Punk hesitantly holding their daughter. A memory of Hope flashed through my head:

"Tay, I need you to promise me something," Hope said through the contractions. We both knew how vital her breathing was at this point. Punk was holding her other hand, in his own world and not listening. I nodded as she continued, "I need you to be there for Punk and the baby-"

"No, I won't need to be there for them. They'll have you!"

"Hon, we both know only one of us are going to make it-"

"Dammit, Hope don't…do NOT say things like that. You're gonna make it." I began sobbing, and so did Hope.

"Please Taylor. She's your god-daughter after all. Please be there for them, they're going to need you like I always have. Punk is going to need you; more than he's ever needed anyone." I was sobbing too hard to correct her or even comment. Soon, there was a cry of a baby, and the monitor flat-lining. Above all that, the only sound Punk and I could hear, were our own hearts breaking.

"Baby girl, do you want to go back in there with them?" John asked me.

"No, I'd rather give them time right now, especially since I'm staying with them for a while." I looked up at John and he was seemingly in awe; and confused.

"Staying with them? What are you talking about Tay?"

Pulling away, we sat down in the waiting room; not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on with Punk in the hospital room.

"John, before Hope," choking back a sob, he rubbed my back and I continued, "I promised her I'd be there for Emma and Phil. I can't really do that if I'm not there. I mean yeah, there's going back and forth but-"

John interrupted,

"But how stable is Punk right now in order to raise a kid. I understand Taylor. You don't have to explain it to me, really. Although, I don't know what I'm gonna do if I get lonely at night..."

He trailed off, raising his eyebrows suggestively. I managed a laugh and looked at him. Leaning in, we kissed passionately. John tried pulling me into his lap from my seat, but I pulled away, breathless and stunned.

"Johnny, this is a hospital."

"They have closets babe."

He gave me a shit eating grin; and I knew he was joking, but still. It's not the right time. Something inside me snapped.

"You're hilarious. Glad to see you're ready to fuck in the same building where my best friend's dead body is; smooth move John."

"Hey, Taylor, c'mon, you know I was joking."

I simply walked away from him and went to check on Punk and Emma-Lynn. The two were still in the same position; him holding her and sitting in the chair by Hope's bed. Although by now, the people have come in and moved her body to the morgue. I stood there and watched Punk's movements.

Getting up, slowly and then walking. The Straight-Edge Superstar placed his daughter in the little cradle and looked towards the door; at me. Without a word, I quietly walked over to the baby; I haven't seen her since she was first born. Looking at the clock it was nearly midnight; therefore making her merely hours old. Be strong, I kept saying to myself.

Peaking down, Emma was a spitting image of Punk; his black hair, bone structure and skin tone. The one thing that was undeniably Hope's, was her eyes. The lightest shade of blue you'd ever see. Touching her stomach, she let out a small giggle, and with that, the flood gates opened. The tears wouldn't stop; no matter how hard I tried to hold them back.

All of a sudden, a hand was on my shoulder. Slightly I jumped, then turned around to the owner of the hand; Punk. Looking up into his hazel eyes didn't help. As a sob escaped, he pulled me into his arms.

"Shh. It's okay. Just don't cry. T, it's going to be okay," Punk said.

We both knew after today things would never be the same, but just for now, we'd pretend that everything is okay. Nodding into his chest, my arms wrapped around his waist, and he pulled me closer. I felt his head look at the baby girl. Eventually I did too. Then on us both had to be strong. For each other….For John…For Emma-Lynn…For Hope.

Hours later, John was driving us home in his '89 Jeep Wrangler. The drive was completely silent. Neither of us spoke to eachother after I chewed him out at the hospital. I felt bad, but didn't feel like apologizing to him; so sue me. Thank God when we pulled into the driveway, and then headed inside. John went somewhere, and I changed into a shirt of his, and then headed upstairs. Walking up the steps to our bedroom, pictures hung on the walls. Stopping to look at them, one was of Hope and I, graduating from college. It seems like that was just yesterday, when in reality it was almost seven years ago.

"Taylor, hey," John said as he appeared and came up the stairs.

"Hi, is something up?" He gave me a dimpled smile and I knew what a bitch I was being to him. Those blue eyes and dimpled smile could make anyone give in, especially me.

"Well, you're pissed at me. Listen babe, I understand you're hurting. So am I. Hope was a good friend to me too. I'm sorry I have bad timing, but I'm not going to apologize for trying to cheer you up. So you figure out whatever and I'll be on the couch, okay?" He didn't even give me time to respond, before he was flipping off the lights and on the couch to sleep.

Huffing, I climbed down the stairs. He was already out, so I crawled in next to him. Fuck, I never realized how small this couch is. John turned out not to be asleep, and wrapped me into his arms, kissing my lips and forehead.

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch Johnny. I just….I don't know how to act. I feel so guilty." I couldn't believe I was actually going to bring this up, especially now.

"Tay, Hope had placenta previa. They didn't catch it in time; No one could have prevented that. Not even you."

I sighed shaking my head,

"I did know. She threatened me and told me not to tell Punk! My hands were tied. I tried…so hard to convince her to tell him or something. She just wouldn't.

I've blamed myself-"

John rolled over so he was on top, interrupting me. A frown was on his face, but his blue eyes still sparkled. Blue eyes that I could spend forever looking into. If only he felt that way too, but that's another story.

"Tay, you did right by your friend. You tried, and we both know that nothing would change that girl's mind. Maybe not even Punk. So you need to stop blaming yourself, okay?" I could only nod, making him think I believed him. Not a day goes by that I won't blame myself; I think we both know it. John's finger was tracing my lips, as my heart starting beating faster. Taking his finger into my mouth, my tongue began sucking and licking it.

A low growl could be heard from The Cenation Leader,

"Taylor, don't tease me." I let his finger go, and shook my head lightly.

Pulling his head down, to feel his breath on my lips,

"Mmmm, never." With that he crashed his lips to mine, passionately.

As our tongues fought for dominance, I slowly began taking off his plaid blue boxers, and I felt him smirk into the kiss. In an instant, John was taking off my shirt, that was actually his, and my silky panties. He started trailing butterfly kisses from my neck all the way down to my navel; my hips bucked up at the contact.

"God, you're so beautiful," he whispered, kissing my stomach. I smiled at him, and knew I was blushing, but thankfully he couldn't see it. After all this time, he can still make me feel this way.

"John," I began and his head snapped up and our eyes met, "Will you make love to me already? I can't take the fucking teasing." With one last kiss to my lips, he thrusted into me slowly,

"You okay baby girl?" I kissed him in reassurance, and he slowly began moving. Then I wrapped my legs around him to get more and pull him closer. We moved in sync, my hips rising to meet his thrusts.

"Oh God, John! Th...there!"

"Mmm, Taylor...God!" His movements were slower and gentler compared to the other times. Soon the thrusts became more erotic.

"John? I'm gonna-"

"It's okay, I'm right here. Let it go." Soon, we were both reaching our climaxes and John pulled me into his arms.

"I love you Taylor." A total chick flick moment, but I snuggled into his chest and said,

"I love you too, meathead."

A chuckle bubbled in his muscular chest, and soon we both fell asleep. Tomorrow was the day no one wanted to happen. We were burying one of us.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, John was up first. Pulling on clothes that were strewn across the floor, I headed to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

"Hey, you're up?" Dropping the coffee cup at the voice, I felt like an idiot. John sighed and helped pick up the pieces while I wiped up the coffee. Arms wrapped around me and I too sighed.

"Why so jumpy baby?" Turning around in his arms, I tried to find a real reason why.

"Scared me is all. Did you shower yet? We have to be at the funeral home at," I glanced at the clock, 10:30 then continued, "11:30. The f...funeral starts at noon." I pulled out of his arms and headed up the stairs to take a shower, John didn't even ask to join me. Thoughts swirled through my head while in that shower.

Life is a funny thing. Right when you think you have it figured out, there's always that game changer. You can make plans, always think what's ahead, or just live in the moment. Either way, at any given moment the rug can be ripped out from under you and question everything you know. What really sucks is that there's nothing you can do to stop it. When someone you love dies, the world continues to spin on, as much as you wish it would just slow down or even stop. Soon the water ran cold and I took that as a cue to hop out and finally get motivated. Not like anyone really wants to do what's about to be done. All I could think of as John and I drove there was how Phil and Emma-Lynn were.

As if he could hear my thoughts, John spoke up,

"Tay, don't worry about them right now. You'll have time for that. Just worry about getting through the day; for you. You're strong. One of the reasons I fell in love with you." In an instant I felt slightly relieved, but just as quickly, it disappeared. I grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"I love you too Johnny. I'm sorry that I'm going to be an emotional wreck. You don't deserve it. I just...Hope was the one who I've always had in my life," I started to choke up, and again he squeezed my hand. "I'm just gonna stop. Save my tears for later."

It was all a blur, up to now; standing at her casket. It's hard to believe that they put people in those things, and then bury them. It's sickening to think about. The preacher droned on as people cried, but to me and most likely Punk, maybe John, the silence was deafening. John had an arm around me, being strong, expecting me to fall apart. I felt like crying, but I just couldn't. This feels all too much like a dream, or at least an episode of some TV show.

Punk stood closest to the casket, just looking down at it. Punk was a hard-ass, tough as nails and rarely cried. I pulled away from John's soft embrace, and moved through a couple people until Punk was right next to me, on the right. Hesitantly, I went to grab his hand, but slightly did. All of a sudden, he grabbed my hand all the way. Then he looked down at me as a lone tear fell from his hazel eyes. Offering a slight smile, Punk merely nodded. Then, he began crying like he had the night before. The night before, he was there to comfort me; today I'm here to do the same for him.

As people began to leave, Punk and I just stood there. Then John came and stood to my left, and grabbed my other hand. This was a total chick flick moment, and I'm sure the two WWE Superstars knew it too. The so-called, "Best In the World," was first to pull away. One last look at Hope's coffin, and he turned on his heel, leaving us. Until John stopped him,

"Hey Punk!" John jogged up to him and rubbed the back of his neck. Smiling at his mannerism, I continued listening. Yes, basically eavesdropping. "If you want Tay and I to watch Emma for you, just let us know. Or if ya know, need something." CM Punk rolled his eyes, and I clenched a fist.

"Thanks Mr. Boy scout, I'll let you know. Now go back to your perfect little world, why you still have your girl and take her for granted. Alright dude? Then both of you just leave me alone, because I don't need anyone's help. Especially you, because we both know you don't care." Punk gave a smirk and then said, "Pipe bomb." Before John could reply, Phil left. I was alone looking at the newly covered hole.

"God Hope, did you ever pick a winner. Why did you make me promise you to look out for them? Emma-Lynn of course, but him? Why did you have to leave? Why couldn't you just stay-?"

"Hey, you okay?" Hearing John's voice made me suck in all the tears; time to be strong. Turning around, the Cenation leader looked half-sad, and half-pissed off. Throw in a little concern.

"Yeah, just ready to go. You okay?" Solemnly, John nodded and I wondered how much lying we would be doing on if we were "okay," or not. Deep down, it worried me how easy it is for us to lie to eachother. So with that, the two of us walked back to his jeep. One last glance backward, I looked at where the girl I considered my sister, was buried. I felt like I was leaving her; again, and letting her down for not being able to save her.

Yet as John fell asleep and I lay awake, still in his arms, I could only think of Punk and how tonight was his first night alone with Emma-Lynn. One could only hope he doesn't do something stupid. Carefully pulling out of his arms, I pulled on his green "Cenation" shirt, and grabbed my cell phone. Tip toeing downstairs, my footfalls continued until I was sitting by the pool; feet dangling in the water. Taking a deep breath and opening the phone, hit the first speed dial. Soon, a gruff voice answered,

"Taylor, princess are you okay? It's two in the morning." I couldn't help but smile at the nickname I know so well.

"Hey. Uhh, I…I don't know if I am Daddy." I choked back a sob, and I could hear him sitting up in bed.

"Hunter?" I heard my mom, Stephanie's voice come over the phone. Dad mumbled something about going back to sleep, and that it was all okay. Clearly Mom had to be half asleep, because any other time she would have told him off and ranted on how I'm her daughter too; I was a grown woman, but mom could still be as over protective as ever. Dad was quiet as he made his way out and probably into his office that he spent countless hours in.

"I saw Hope's obituary in the paper," The Cerebral Assassin said with a yawn as he tried to be there for his only daughter. "I'm sorry your mom and I couldn't fly out there. We were going to, but something came up. It's a shitty excuse but….what happened to her?"

"She had placenta previa. When she was having Emma, she ruptured and bled to death," this all seems more surreal saying out loud, "and she was gone. I watched her die Daddy. Then I watched my best friend get put six feet under. Punk cried! He never does. I promised her I'd be there for him and Emma-Lynn, but I don't know if I can."

"Shh. Princess," I cried harder at the nickname given to me by The Game himself, "it'll be hard, especially knowing Punk. I know you and you'll keep your promise regardless. Had I known, I would've been there for you, today. That baby girl is going to need you; you'll be the closest thing she has to a mother." I nodded, not like he could see me, but you don't argue with Paul Levesque.

"Okay Daddy. I'm sorry I called you so late; especially crying like a little girl." Dad gave a hearty laugh and in an instant I honestly missed my father.

"It's fine. You'll always be my little girl Taylor. I don't care how old you get. Don't ever forget that, understood?"

"Understood. You should get back to bed old man," I laughed and he knew I was joking. He laughed too, as he does when I call him that. "I'll call you tomorrow whenever we get up. Tell Mom I said g'night. Love you Daddy."

"Love you too sweetheart. Remember, I will kick Cena's ass if he isn't there for you." With another laugh and goodnight, we hung up. I loved my mom, but I would forever be a daddy's little girl.

Glancing at the phone, I hesitantly hit speed dial three. After several rings, it went straight to voicemail, just like it always will.

"Hey, you've reached Hope, congratulations! Haha no, but sorry I can't come to my phone right now. I'm probably busy, or it's on silent and I didn't realize it. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you. Bye!" I re-dialed a couple more times, until it was picked up.

"Taylor, why the hell are you calling her phone?" Punk's gruff and angered voice said. Fuck my life, I didn't think this through. I hesitantly answered,

"I...uhh, yours is off and I wanted to…" I trailed off, knowing he'd hate to be checked on already.

"You wanted to what Taylor? Check on me, I'm assuming?" Anger flooded through me that he acted as if he knew me so well.

"First off, you don't know me, so don't be an asshole and assume you do. Second, I know you're an insomniac so I know I didn't wake you. Third, I just wanted someone to talk to, but excuse me; I didn't realize I dialed the number of the royal jackwagon. So I'm hanging up-"

"Wait!" Punk exclaimed, shocking the both of us.

"What?" Sighing, I felt bad for being such a bitch, believe me, I usually am not.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm sorry."

Smiling I merely said,

"Me too."

After a few moments of just hearing his breathing I felt calmer; as if I could actually sleep now. Maybe it's just knowing that he was okay, alive, and not doing anything stupid.

"So, for someone who wanted to talk, you're awfully silent."

"I'm not sure what to say, actually. The two of us haven't talked in a long time, honestly."

"We used to be friends," he sighed, "rather close actually."

Offering a small laugh, I smiled at the memories. We were once, but eventually he met my best friend and John finally divorced Liz. Things fell into place for us romantically, but we weren't close anymore. Like two different people.

"Yeah, I guess we were, huh. I'm sorry if I bugged you. I just-"

"You don't have to explain, like you said; I am an insomniac. Plus, Emma was crying so I was up anyway. Before you ask, she's fine. She just needed a diaper changed." Maybe he wouldn't need help so much after all.

"That's good, and thanks for telling me Punk. I should let you go, it's almost four. Watch the "Walking Dead," or something. It's your favorite show."

"Ha, you're a smart one, aren't you? Alright then, night Helmsley."

"Night Brooks." He hung up and eventually I did too.

Finally, I was back in bed, feeling as if I could sleep. John was still conked out, but rolled onto his back. Laying my head on his chest, his arm wrapped around me in his sleep. For the first time, it was peaceful. Soon the sun would rise. Even when things suck, the sun still manages to rise. As if it doesn't know how much darkness there really is in the world. Even with someone you love gone, the world still spins on, even if you feel as if yours is falling apart.


	3. Chapter 3

A month later, and John was gone at the gym and I was in the guest room at Punk and Hope's house. This is my first month and I already wanted to use Punk's own finishing move on him. Not that it would help considering the man never sleeps. He still hesitates on letting me do anything. Right now, he's still off. Grandpa Vince had creative say he was injured, while mostly everyone knew the truth anyway. To this day, Punk still doesn't know the promise. He just thinks I want to help out; which I would anyway. Just not necessarily living here in order to do so.

Today however, it was just Emma and me. Phil was lifting or doing whatever with John at the gym. John finally got the Straight-Edge Superstar to leave. Honestly, I thought Punk wouldn't want anything to do with Emma-Lynn, which in some ways I was right. When I first got here, he wanted nothing to do with her.

First week:

Emma was crying at the top of her lungs, and I was trying to cook dinner. Punk was in the living room watching TV.

"Punk will you get her?" I yelled but he never answered. Eventually I just gave up and went to check on her. The week old was screaming in my arms.

"Shh, it's okay Emmie." I began softly humming and soon she was out; thank God. She's definitely their kid with those set of lungs.

"Finally you got her to shut up," he said from the doorway, causing me to jump. Turning around, I glared at him and he merely smirked.

"No thanks to you, daddy," sarcasm dripping in the words. Pushing past him, he grabbed my arm turning me around to face him.

"I don't want you here Taylor. I don't want her here either. So don't be a bitch to me. Alright?" This isn't the Punk I used to know. Maybe he's been gone longer than I thought.

"You think I want to be staying here with you? I have a boyfriend that I could see every day, but choose to be here. I care about that little girl. Emma is your daughter; you and Hope's. You need to grow a pair-"

"She took Hope away from me, Taylor. How can you care for the thing that took the one you love away dammit!" Punk interrupted and I couldn't believe it. I wasn't sure whether to yell, or be happy he's letting a wall down. He's not the easiest guy to get along with.

I sighed,

"Punk, look at her. She's the baby girl you always wanted. What happened to Hope is horrible and hurts like hell. But things happen. And that little girl did not cause her to get placenta previa, she already had it. You're the only parent she has. So Stop being selfish, because your daughter needs you."

After that spiel, I went to finish dinner; leaving Punk alone with his thoughts and kid.

Although he was mad at me that week, he slowly began acting like a dad. Now he never wants to let her go. From one extreme to another then, I guess. After Emma ate her bottle, I lay her down in her cradle for her to take a nap.

"Sweet dreams, Emma. When you wake up maybe your father will be here," she smiled as if she could understand me, and I laughed. "Your mom would love you, so much."

Meanwhile at the gym, Punk was putting down his weights as John finished squatting. The two had been in the gym nearly two hours by now, and Punk was happy to be back there. As the two took a small break and talked more, John brought up Taylor and Emma.

"They're good. I'm shocked she stayed after I was a total dick to her the first week," Punk replied.

"Dude, be nice," Punk threw his hands up in surrender and the blue eyed man laughed, " Well it's good you're not mad at her though." The former WWE champion looked at John skeptically,

"Why would I be mad at Taylor? She's just being nice and helping us out." John nodded and took a gulp of water,

"Yeah, when she could be at home with me," the annoyed tone in John's voice was palpable, but he continued before Punk could throw his two cents in. "No man, I meant about Taylor knowing Hope had that condition before she died."

The younger man grew furious and confused. Why would Taylor with hold the information that she knew? Maybe Hope would be here if she hadn't, Punk thought. John was looking at him suspiciously, but he shrugged it off.

"Oh, uh that. I understood," he lied, "But hey, I gotta go. Think I'll relieve Taylor of her duties for now."

"Alright man, you okay? You look upset." You would love that, wouldn't you? Asshole. Punk thought again. He nodded and soon the two went separate ways. Punk sped home, but was soon in his driveway. Taylor's grey Volkswagen Beetle still parked in the drive too.

"Please let Cena be wrong," he whispered to whoever would hear it. Over the past two weeks, he's begun growing fond of Taylor. Deep down he began to wonder just how fond he was becoming. It was nice knowing that Emma-Lynn would have a mother-figure. He thought maybe Taylor would be a Nazi and take over, but instead you wouldn't know she was there.

Well, other than the house being clean and always filled with food. Much to Punk's happiness, Taylor would tell Emma little things about her mom, Hope. So obviously both the adults knew she wouldn't be trying to replace Hope in any way. He headed inside and wondered how bad things were about to get.

After I made sure Emma was asleep, I turned around to leave, but quickly scared myself.

"Holy shit! Punk you scared the hell out of me!" He stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe. This look was on his face that I couldn't quite place. Hesitantly, I stepped closer so only a few feet were between us.

"So how is she?"

Cautiously I answered,

"Um, good? Punk you okay? You look flushed." He nodded then walked past me and checked on her himself. By the time he turned around, I had my arms crossed and was biting my lip. A feeling of something was about to go down, rolling around in my stomach.

"So you're Hope's best friend?" He questioned as he looked at me and I merely nodded. "Some best friend," he said venomously.

"Punk cut to the chase!"

"Most best friends, don't let their friends die. Now do they Taylor?"

He could probably hear my heart pounding in my chest. How would he... John. He's the only person I told, but he wouldn't, would he? Punk's big mouth opened again and my suspicions were confirmed.

"John mentioned a little something today-"

"Phil, if you're going to say something, just say it already!" I interrupted. A look of rage flashed through his eyes before he said the words I never wanted to hear.

"Did you really know Hope had placenta previa when she was pregnant?" Oh shit.

That day played in my mind as we stood there.

Then:

Hope and I were decorating the nursery for the baby that was due in three months. I went to ask her a question and found her sitting in the rocking chair, clutching her stomach.

"Taylor, something's wrong." Walking over to her, I got scared. This girl never complains, so something has to be wrong.

"Hope, what's going on? Is it the baby?"

"I felt lightheaded and this really bad pain-"

"We're going to the hospital." I stated and for once Hope didn't argue. She hurriedly followed me. As soon as she got to the hospital, she passed out. The nurses pushed me away and made me sit in the waiting room.

Soon I was holding her hand as we waited for the doctor to come in. After silence she finally spoke up,

"What if something is seriously wrong?" I shook my head and she sighed, "Taylor, I've had pains like this before, in my first trimester. They were worse today, but I never told anyone, other than the doctor."

I gave her this look that I inherited from my father, which would usually make people run the other direction. It makes John, at least.

"What the hell! Hope Evelyn Sawyer! Why didn't you tell me, or even John? Maybe even Punk, ya know your fiancé?" I knew I hit a soft spot when she looked ready to cry.

"I was scared dammit. I don't need my best friend screaming at me and acting like my mother!" I muttered a sorry, and then in came the doctor.

"Hello again ladies, I have some news. The baby and Hope are both fine, for now."

"Now, what do you mean," looking at her name tag it read Martin, "Doctor Martin?" I felt Hope shaking and both of us became worried.

The older woman sighed,

"Hope has a condition called placenta praevia. It's a complication in which the placenta grows in the lowest part of the womb, and fully or partially covers the opening to the cervix." Hope looked confused, but I knew what it was. My mom had it when she was pregnant with me; she barely lived then wound up dying in a car crash a year later. The shorter brunette spoke up,

"Um, doctor, English please?" She laughed and began saying it in laments terms.

"Basically that means that instead of your placenta moving to the top of the womb throughout your pregnancy like it should, it stays in the lower part and covers the cervix." Hope still looked confused, and I sighed.

"Hope that means that if it doesn't move, you'll bleed out and one or both of you, will die." It took a moment for it sink in, and when it did, tears glistened in her light blue eyes.

"Well, uh doc, what are my options?"

"Well either you can continue the pregnancy, at a very high risk, or you can choose to terminate the pregnancy." The smart choice, to save her would be to terminate the pregnancy, but is that what she'd choose?

"Thanks Doctor Martin. I'm keeping the baby. It's what my fiancé and I have discussed considering the last time I had these pains." The doctor merely nodded and soon we were heading back to their house.

Once we sat in the living room, I spoke up.

"If you don't tell Phil the truth, then I will." Tears started pooling from her eyes.

"No! Taylor if you tell Punk then he'll want to get rid of our baby! I refuse." I glared at her, disgusted.

"You could die. Do you not understand that? How can you be so damn selfish Hope?"

She shook her head and wiped her tears. I didn't want to hurt her, but she needs to realize the repercussions of her actions. The affects it will have. I was catching my breath from yelling when she spoke,

"If you tell anyone about this, you're dead to me. I mean it Taylor Lynn. I'm having this baby and not even Punk can talk me out of it. Your choice." She stood up and walked into her room, sobbing the whole way.

Eventually, we were okay again. Obviously I never told Punk and she had the baby. I tried many times after that to talk sense into her, but she never relented. She was happy with having a baby; I wasn't going to interfere.


	4. Chapter 4

"Taylor?" Punk snapped his fingers and I was back to the present. Not knowing how to answer, I stuttered.

"Phil, there's more to it than that." The look on his face crushed me; it looked as if he got the wind knocked out of him. With one last look at me, he left the room. Me being me, followed him. Here it goes.

The Second City Saint, stood in the kitchen, gripping the end of the counter so tight, his knuckles were turning white.

"How the hell could you let her die, Taylor? You knew and you never told anyone? She would be here right now if it weren't for you!"

Everything I'd been thinking for the past month was now confirmed; all the guilt, finally at the surface. Then I told myself nothing would change her mind. Who was he to judge? Deep down, he saying it hurt worse. Walking closer I slapped him across the face with my backhand.

"Screw you, Brooks! You don't know how guilty I've felt-"

"Good!" I slapped him again, and his eyes glazed over with undeniable rage.

"I threatened to tell you, but she threatened to cut me out of her life. I tried so many damn times to change her mind, or at least get her to tell you the truth. I felt guilty for so long, but somewhere along the line, I stopped. Not because I don't miss her, but because she told me over and over that nothing could change her decision. Not even you."

Holding my breath, I walked over to the corner, where two parts of the counter top meet. He just stood there, in shock.

"I'm sorry, I blamed you," he whispered. "I just can't believe the two people I care about most kept something this big from me."

"I'm sorry too. But she was happy." He nodded and I knew he couldn't fight me on this. Punk stood there and kept looking at me. His hazel eyes locked with my blue, and then something he said occurred to me, just then. I just can't believe the two people I care about most kept something this big from me. Two people? How the hell did he mean that? I mean of course he loved Hope, but why group me with her? He crept closer and before I knew it, he had me cornered. His hands rested beside me, each one on a different part of the marble counter.

The look of rage that was in his eyes quickly became something else. I've seen the look before. The times he looked at Hope, or when John looked at me. My heart beat in my chest, but not out of fear, but out of want. His tongue played with his lip ring as he stared at my lips. Soon, my chest was pressed up against his muscular chest.

I found the courage and whispered,

"Two people?" With his signature smirk and a nod, all my inhibitions were gone. That's why, when his lips pressed against mine, I couldn't stop myself from kissing back.

As the kissing continued, my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer. His tattooed hands left the counter top, and stuck his hands into my back jean pockets, pulling me closer, too. His tongue grazed my bottom lip, and then our tongues battled for dominance. I gave in as a moan escaped me. This was wrong on so many levels; this is cheating. Yet in the moment, I couldn't bring myself to pull away.

Biting on his lip, he let out a groan, and I could feel his hardened member against me, until he lifted me up and placed me onto the counter. My legs wrapped around him and his lips trailed hot open mouth kisses down my neck. He bit and sucked at the skin, and I felt a tingle between my legs. When my hands roamed up his shirt, all I could think about was getting it off of him, and having our way with eachother right here, right now.

The ministrations continued to my neck, until I pulled his lips to mine. His hands rested on my sides, and the aching between my legs increased. Then, Emma-Lynn started crying and I snapped out of it. In an instant we parted, calming our breathing. Punk's eyes cleared, and I felt cold. Not knowing why, I jumped off the marble counter top, and straightened up my appearance. He gave me this look and I hated it.

Even more, I hated how in that period of time, not only did I fuck up a three year relationship with John, but I made out with my dead best friend's ex-fiancé. Also, I didn't understand this feeling I had with him. I mean yes, the more we're around eachother I get this feeling, but-

"Taylor, I'm...I don't know what came over me," His gruff voice interrupted my thoughts. I choked back tears, and merely nodded. I headed upstairs and checked on Emma-Lynn, who was back asleep and perfectly fine. Kissing her smooth forehead, and rubbing her round stomach, I turned to leave. Heading into the guest room, I checked to see that the clock read: eleven-thirty at night. Pulling my bag out from the closet, I began packing it, hurrying just in case Phil came upstairs. A man cleared his throat, and I knew I was caught.

"Where are you going?" Turning around to face him, he looked so torn. Let me go, or stop me? Zipping it up, I grabbed my phone to see several missed texts and calls from John. Oh God, John! He didn't do anything to deserve this. How could I do this to him?

"I uh, thought I'd go home…to John. He's called and texted and I never answered. Plus, I haven't been home in a week or two..." I drifted off.

"Oh, okay. Running away, Taylor?" My head snapped up to meet his gaze, and I glared. What the hell is going on here?

"I'm not running from anything. What happened was a mistake and won't happen again. Take care of Emmie; I'll be back in a week."

Not giving him anymore time to throw something in my face, I sprinted to my car, and drove home. Turning on the radio to my favorite station, a song caught my attention.

"Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight-"

Damn radio, so I shut it off. I never liked you much anyway, Lady Antebellum. Eventually, I parked the car and just sat there, taking a deep breath. I already fought with Punk today, I really don't want a war with John. Maybe I'll just sleep in my car? No, I'd freeze my ass off; it is fall anyway.

Somehow, I ended up pulling on an old T-Shirt after changing my clothes, and lay on the couch, pulling the blanket around me. Finally, what happened sunk in. I kissed Punk. I cheated on John. I kissed my best friend's boyfriend. What kind of person does that make me or us?

Soon, the flood gates opened, and everything came out. I was a bone-a-fide mess. Everything was so simple, well somewhat. I promised Hope I'd look after them. How could I betray her like that? Not to mention John; in which our relationship already was questionable anymore. In a matter of moments, things just became fucked up. Thankfully, my eyes became heavy, and sleep gladly took over.

Next morning, I rolled over expecting to fall off. Instead, I felt someone pull me closer to their warm chest. Opening my blue eyes, I met another pair in John's. He gave me a dimpled smile but I felt numb. Dammit, I probably have tear marks all over.

Any time before, I'd love waking up in his arms. John and I have been through a lot together after all, but right now? I just want to be alone. Or own a time machine. Pulling out of his embrace, I went to stand up, but he grabbed my arm.

"Taylor, what the hell happened? You're home for the first time in nearly two weeks, and I find you sleeping on the couch? Not to mention looking like you cried all night. Baby girl, what's going on?"

A part of me loved him for his concern. The other part of me, that was also winning, wanted to scream at him. Glaring at him, he pulled away. Told you!

"Why, Johnny whatever do you mean? I mean it wouldn't have anything to do with what you told Punk!"

My voice rose higher with each word. His blue eyes widened in shock. He went to speak and I held my hand up to stop him. John looked taken back.

"I don't want to hear it John. I trusted you not to tell him. Yet you did."

"Taylor, I figured as close as you too have gotten the past month that you told him. I mean, when I let it slip, he acted as if he knew."

Of course Phil acted like it. In a way, he didn't want John to think he had some kind of upper hand. After staying with the guy for nearly a month, you pick up on some things. I sighed then began heading downstairs into the kitchen to make something to eat. I saw the marble countertop and my heart thudded in my chest.

Closing my eyes, all I could see was Punk's hands roaming my body; pressing me against his marble countertop. Feel his soft lips and lip ring pressing against my neck. Now I half wondered if I have a hickey. Opening my eyes, he obviously wasn't there, and I tried shaking away the part of me that was disappointed. Damn kitchen. Now that's all I'll ever think about. Last night I felt horrible and guilty. Today, I just felt numb and confused. I mean, obviously neither of us pushed each other away. What's that mean? For what felt like the hundredth time, my thoughts were interrupted by a male voice; in this case; John's.

"Baby girl, I'm sorry okay? Now c'mon don't be mad. I missed you."

He softly kissed the back of my neck as he wrapped his really muscular arms around me from behind. Never before did I realize how different it is to be in John's arms compared to Punk's. All out of energy to fight, I relented.

"Fine, so what are you doing today?"

"Spending the day with my gorgeous girlfriend. That is, if she wants." Spending the day with John mostly meant rounds of sex. I just can't do that right now. Especially not after Punk and I nearly fucked in his kitchen.

"Don't you have a house show to do?"

"Yeah, but that's not until later tonight." Turning around in his arms, he had a hopeful gleam in his blue eyes. One that I didn't want to diminish.

"Well how about, I sit front row and cheer you on, and then come back home and take care of you."

He smirked and kissed me. It was a different kiss though; more possessive and less tender. As his tongue tried to enter my mouth, I pulled away breathless. Dammit Taylor, this is the man you love! Why the hell would you let one little kiss with Brooks change that? One side of me said that, while the other answered with 'Because you've been falling for Phillip Jack Brooks. Stop lying. '

"Then what will we do in the meantime?"

"You do whatever you usually do before a house show, and I will be..." Not where I was yesterday, it'd be too soon. For who, I wasn't sure. "I'll be shopping for food. I swear you've cleaned out the whole house."

He laughed,

"Babe, I was hungry. How about I will in a couple hours? For now, I just want to hold you. Other than last night I don't remember the last time we slept in the same bed."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty for doing what I think is best?" I knew that's not what he meant; at least I hope not.

"No? Jesus, Taylor. Sorry! The way you're acting is as if you do have something to be guilty for!" I hope he didn't notice how I forgot to breathe, or swallowed thickly. Moment of truth; I could either tell him the truth or watch all hell break loose, or not say anything at all. I mean if it's not a big deal, why even mention it.

"No. What would I have to feel guilty for? I've basically been a nanny to Emma while Punk does, whatever Punk does," I said defensively and I hope he couldn't see through my lie.

Yet, when he only nodded and went to make breakfast, part of me wishes he didn't buy my lie. If he cared, maybe he would've pushed harder. In that moment I knew I could never let him get away. We've been important in each other's lives for far too long. I love him, I do. Sneaking up behind him, I tried my best to wrap my arms around him.

"I would love that. Matter of fact, I can think of a few ways we could pass the time."

In an instant, John's lips were feverishly on mine. This time, I let his tongue in my mouth, and let it win. I was in his hands and ready, somewhat to let him do whatever. As he pulled me closer, he ground his bulge against my now wet crotch. He let out a groan. Wrapping my legs around his waist and grinding back into him, he pushed me against a wall in our kitchen. My button up shirt I wore to bed flew open as he yanked it off of me. John roughly pick and sucked on my neck. If Punk gave me a hickey, he wouldn't notice. If I didn't have one, I would now.

Stepping back, John pulled off his boxers as I took off my underwear and shorts. Before I could even breathe, John's hardened member slammed into me. It felt as if he ripped right through my throbbing core.

"Fu...John!" He bit my lip as we kisses then continued biting my neck as a loud moan escaped me.

"That's right baby, scream my name." He moaned into my ear.

John's pace was fast and his thrusts hard and deep. What little nails I had were scratching at his back and it'd be a shock he wasn't bleeding. His roughness was unusual. With each thrust, he grabbed my hips tighter and tighter.

"Oh, John, harder."

"God, you're so tight! You're mine, no one else's." Then, I could feel it building in my stomach. Soon, my body was wracked in an orgasm, and John then too came. My toes curled and I could've sworn my eyes rolled back in my head.

Sweat gleamed off of John's body, as he kissed my forehead.

"I love you Taylor Lynn Helmsley," he whispered. Kissing his lips, as he pulled out, I muttered back,

"I love you too John. I'm going to go shower, you make food."

"Aw, come on babe, round two?" I managed a laugh as I gathered my clothes.

"Ha, no; I'm sore already and it's not even noon."

Walking away, he playfully smacked my ass, and I stuck my tongue out at him in response. As I got into the shower, I could smell the pancakes and bacon cooking. Washing my hair, I wondered what just happened. Why was John so...possessive? Why as I am in the shower, after having sex with my boyfriend, am I thinking about another man? Why does that man have to be Punk?


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night, I sat front row like I said I would at the house show. John was main eventing against Big Show in an iron man cage match. Every time Show threw John against the cage, I flinched. It's a habit after years of watching your father, then later your boyfriend.

As I watched, the open seat next to me was taken by some guy. When he rolled up his jacket sleeves, I saw the tattoos. That familiar feeling took over my body and I shook it away. He leaned over and whispered in my ear,

"Didn't think I'd see you so soon Taylor." I looked over into his hazel eyes and everything I wanted to say, left me. I was speechless and I honesty can't remember the last time John legitimately took my breath away with that one look.

"Hey Punkers, I didn't think you'd show."

"Punkers; my God really? I wasn't going to, but I can't stay away from this business long."

Nodding, I tried watching the match; all the while not being able to think straight. What the fuck is happening to me? No, I can't do this to Hope. Or John. No matter how tempting Punk is. With those arms, all the tattoos, that lip ring, his arms. The way he makes me feel so...full. No Taylor, enough. Apparently he knew my thoughts because next thing I knew, our chairs were closer than before, and his hand was grabbing mine. I let him too. His fingers laced through mine and I felt at ease. He pulled out his phone and texted someone. Next thing I knew, my phone vibrated in my jean jacket. Using my free hand, I checked it.

Punk: A white dress at a wrestling event, trying to get Johnny distracted?

Taylor: Haha. You're the only one paying attention. This is wrong you know; holding my hand.

Punk: Yet, you're not stopping me, are you?

He had me there. Putting my phone away, I kept an eye on the match that was nearly over. John had five wins and Big Show only two, with five minutes left remaining. In the last couple minutes, John went to do the five knuckle shuffle, but not before smiling at me and mouthing that he loves me.

I pulled my hand away from Punk. John's right there, what were we thinking? Once John won the match, Punk hurried and left; without so much as a goodbye. I watched his retreating form, not wanting him to leave yet. As cameras followed John, he found his way over to me. A camera man asked who I was and John laughed.

"My girlfriend, Taylor Helmsley." Then he kissed me. To my surprise, I didn't think about Punk this time.

Another week later, and I was still at home with John. I hadn't seen Punk since the house show. I've called his sister Shalene, and she said he and Emma were both great. John was back to usual, except when Punk got mentioned. He tended to tense up. I decided to forget about what happened with Punk; I love only John after all.

I finished making spaghetti, when my phone rang. Punk, the caller ID displayed.

"Hey, what's-"

"Taylor! It's Emma. She had a fever of one hundred point one, and I didn't know what to do, so I took her to the hospital. She's getting checked out now."

My heart started pounding in my chest; she's the last part of Hope left, and she's merely a month and a half year old. Let her be okay. Thinking of what to say, John walked into the room from his shower. I stopped putting the food in the bowls, and grabbed my purse and keys. John looked worried, but I shook my head.

"You did the right thing. Listen, I'm just leaving now. I'll be there soon so don't freak out."

"Alright," I went to hang up, but his voice stopped me, "and Taylor?" The way he said my name; so soft and meaningful made me want to kiss him right then and there.

"Yes, Punk?" John's face paled at the name, and a wave of fury flashed over his defined features. Punk sighed,

"Come back, please? Emma needs you." Turning away from John, I hoped he couldn't hear what I was about to say. I couldn't believe it myself. Punk wasn't making the whole forgetting what happened thing any easier.

"Emma," I whispered, "or you?"

"Taylor, you should know that answer," he paused and I waited, "I can't believe I'm being this fucking mushy, but I need you too."

My God he just said it. He's not big on emotions, but I fell even harder right there.

"You have me. I'm on my way. See you soon."

Shutting my phone, I turned around to face a flustered looking John. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and said,

"Punk, what'd he want?"

"Emma is sick at the hospital and I told him I'm on my way." John went to grab his shoes,

"Want me to come too? Dinner can wait." Walking up to him, I kissed his lips and said no.

"It shouldn't be that long. Just eat and I'll talk to you later."

"Are you coming home or going home with Brooks again?" I shrugged.

"Depends on how Emma is." He mockingly chuckled, and I got pissed off. I need to get to Emma; to Punk. "What is it now John?"

"You do realize you're not her mom right? Last I checked, that's Hope's family, not yours Taylor."

Right then and there I was ready to slap him across the face. How dare he bring up something I've always known? In that moment John had me thinking that if Phil has any feelings for me, he really doesn't; just the parts of me that would remind him of Hope. That's his only love. Is that the truth though?

"Fuck you John. I'm just keeping a promise to my dead best friend. I know I'll never be Emma's mom or Punk won't ever love me," my heart broke saying that for some reason, "They aren't my family, but it's not like we have a family, now do we John?"

"Taylor, don't even start. You knew once I divorced Liz, I wanted to be with you and focus on my career. I don't want a family right now."

"You might not John, but I always have. Ya know, you won't give me a family, so I just am taking care of one. Dammit John, I'm not asking for a family and a ring right now, but can you look me in the eye and tell me that you want it all with me. That we have a future?"

"Taylor, you know I love you."

Somehow that's not the answer I wanted to hear. When he couldn't say it, my heart broke further. Now you know why I said we had a questionable relationship anymore. I walked outside and opened my car door. John followed me. I said something before he could.

"You may love me John, but I don't know if that's enough for me anymore." With that, I hopped into my car and took off. Maybe they weren't my family, but a part of me wishes they were.

Once I got into the waiting room, the first person I saw was Punk. He stood up and walked towards me, as I began slowly heading towards him. We ended up meeting in the middle.

"You came," he said.

"I said I would."

Next thing I knew, I was engulfed in his arms.

"You weren't here yet, and I got worried. My daughter's sick, I didn't want something to be wrong with you too." I smiled at his worrying, and couldn't help but notice he didn't mention Hope. Through all of this, she's all I've thought about. She must hate me now.

"I'm fine. A fight with John but I'm fine. How's Emma?"

As if on cue, out came the doctor. Dr. Davis said the name tag. Punk grabbed my hand and walked us up to him.

"Mr. Brooks, Emma is fine; just a touch of the cold. Her body fighting the infection caused her temperature. With some sleep and the medicine I'm prescribing, she'll be good as new."

"Thanks so much, doc. Can I see her?" The wrestler sighed in relief as the older man nodded. I followed inside as Phil held his baby girl. She cooed as he tickled her belly.

"You know, when Hope died, she made me promise to take care of the both of you," I began telling the truth, "that's why I stayed so long. Really, I would've looked out for you two regardless. Seeing you with her though, I don't really think you need me."

He brought her over and placed Emma-Lynn in my arms. Her big blue eyes looked up at me, and I didn't know whether to cry or smile. I chose the latter.

"She'll need you, always. I'll need you; especially when I'm on the road again." He smiled; I did too knowing he missed wrestling. In all honest, there is no CM Punk without it. It's his life; well was.

"When will that be, exactly?"

He shrugged,

"I'm not sure yet; eventually though. I'll always miss and love Hope, but I need to get back to my life. My job, ya know?" I nodded. The two of us sat there with her, and it felt both wrong and right. There was a tension in the room, and we both knew it. After we left the hospital, we headed back to his house. Once we got there, he lay her down for bed.

I checked my phone to see that John had texted me several times, and then a missed call from my dad.

"Hey, sorry about that Daddy, what's up?"

"Hey princess, your mom and I were thinking about visiting. Will we be able to stay with you?"

"Hell yes! I have the guest room; I can't wait to see you both."

Hunter chuckled,

"I can't wait to see you either. But I have to go. We'll see you soon. Love ya baby girl."

"Love you too daddy."

Smiling, I hung up the phone. It's about time I see him. Dad and Mom lives in Connecticut, so I never really get to see him. Plus, getting my law degree is taking longer than I thought. As I stood in the living room, I felt arms wrap around me from behind.

"How is Triple H enjoying time off?"

I laughed and turned around to face him, then wrapped my arms around him too; resting my head on his chest.

"He's enjoying it. He's visiting soon, so maybe you'll see him."

"He used to intimidate the hell out of me. I remember the first time I met you; you were traveling with him on the road. You remember what you said to me?" I shook my head as he ran his hand up and down my back.

Truth is, I was utterly shocked that he even remembered. I highly doubt John would. Looking up at him, his eyes had this life to it that I hadn't seen in a while.

"You looked at me with your big blue eyes, and you said to me, ' If my dad gets hurt again because some new guy thinks he knows it all and fucks up, I won't be afraid to get into that ring and scream at his ass.' I loved how protective and close you were with him. Plus, you were so honest about it, yet it was still funny coming from a scrawny girl like you."

Laughing, I remembered that day. From then on, Punk and I were friends. Then I became friends with John too, and liked them both. However, John and Liz were ending things, shortly after. Hope came to visit and fell for Punk, and then as I said before, things fell into place. Years later, everything wasn't like we all thought it'd be.

"I remember that. I love that you do too; it means a lot." Next thing I knew, we were on the couch, kissing. As I straddled him, his lips were on my neck, hands roaming everywhere.

"Punk," I said breathlessly pulling away, "I can't do this. I have to get home."

I got up to leave but he pulled me back to him.

"Taylor, God dammit stop running from this!"

"I'm not running from anything! You just miss Hope and I'm the closest thing you have to filling the void-"

Punk began fuming as he interrupted me,

"What the hell! Yes, I'll always miss her, we were together for two years, and we have a kid together. I won't ever regret that. But I'm not falling in love with you to fill some damn void. Last week I knew it was you, and I don't regret it! Matter of fact, ever since we've been getting closer I've wondered how I ever let you get away from me years ago."

Boom, there it was, the truth. Years ago he picked Hope and I picked John. I waited on John to realize how horrible Liz was, so I never gave any guy a chance. Sure there were dates, but nothing serious, so even if while I waited on John, Hope fell for Punk, who I had always had feelings for, I let her happiness come first. After all, I had wanted John for so long; I thought that'd be my final decision.

My heart broke as I spoke,

"You and Hope loved each other, you don't love me."

"Taylor," Punk crept closer and made me look at him, and such love and conviction shown in his eyes that I felt ridiculous for fighting him in this. "You know me; I'm not the feely and mushy kind of guy. A part of me has always loved you and all this time together made me realize I still do love you. I'm pretty much laying my shit bare for you right now T."

Tears prickled at my eyes, and I couldn't believe it. For a moment I was ready to throw caution to the wind and do what I've wanted to do for weeks now. Deep down, it wouldn't be right; at least not yet.

"Punk, I've been feeling things too. I'm still with John and I do love him. I just...I can't do this right now. I'm so sorry."

Kissing his cheek, I then ran out into the cold autumn night, to get into my car to get home. Well, back to John's. This shouldn't be happening! Things have gotten out of hand. I'm not going to lie; I've fallen in love with him. More people are involved than just us though.

I finally wound up in the driveway, then back on the couch, again. My heart was breaking as I thought of hurting Punk. How John would be hurt too. Then Emma of course; I mean I can't just be in her life and then leave her. I'm not her mom though either.

As I went in and out of consciousness, my sole thought was how I might've just let the greatest thing that's ever been in my life, get away.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a few days later, and things around the house were still tense. John pretty much took when I went to the hospital alone as if I chose Punk and Emma over him. Is it wrong if I did? Punk was freaking out and Emma-Lynn is an innocent little girl. I sat in the living room, flipping through channels when John walked into the room, on the phone.

"Yeah, I can't wait to see you too," whoever he was talking to on the other end said something and John replied, "Alright, love you too pops, bye."

The Cenation Leader hung up, and then looked at me, and I turned off the TV, and sat there with my arms crossed.

John finally spoke up,

"So, I was talking to Johnny-Fab, and I still have some time off left, so I told him that we'd come and see them. I figure leave tonight, fly up there and we'd be there by early tomorrow."

His dimples were shown and his blue eyes bright, most likely excited to go and see his family. I love the Cena family, and thankfully they too love me, but it pissed me off how John just went and agreed to something without telling me the idea first. This is weird, because usually I wouldn't mind. Getting up, I walked closer and tried to fight the urge to yell. God, what the hell is wrong with me?

"I can't John. Remember, I told you my parents were coming tomorrow, or were you too busy not listening?" His face immediately flashed with anger and I knew that things were about to get ugly, again. I figured since I had pretty much picked a fight, John would fight back.

Instead he gave me this sad look; a look of someone who just had their heart broken, and he said,

"I can't ever make you happy anymore, can I Taylor?"

John shook his head and walked away from me. I felt numb. I didn't want to hurt him, but no matter what I do, someone is going to get hurt. Nonetheless, his intentions were good, but I pushed him away, and made him seem like the bad guy. Not knowing what to do, I just sat on our bed as I watched him pack later that night. Even though he was just going to see his folks, it still felt like he was leaving, for good.

"Johnny," I whispered, "when are you going to be back?"

The man stopped what he was doing and just looked at me, and then sighed.

"In a few days, but maybe I'll just stay there until I have to get back on the road."

"What if, we spend time with our families, and then the two of us go somewhere?" John managed a slight smile, and I thought I had him.

Until he spoke up again,

"Maybe you should just take Punk. He's your new family right?"

Here it was; the truth behind John's problems lately. Well, I honestly can't say that I blame him.

"That's all this is about? The way you've been acting, the fighting, telling Punk what I knew. All this over you being jealous of the time I've been spending with Phil!"

His blue eyes clouded over with fury, and next thing I knew, a picture of us on the dresser was across the room, and broken; now that's a great metaphor. Fear raced through me, but I knew he wouldn't touch me.

"Johnny," placing my hand on his bicep, his breathing calmed down, "I love you okay? Why are you jealous over us?"

Closing up his suitcase, he kissed my cheek then walked away. Following him down the stairs, he stopped at the door, then turned around to face me, as I remained at the bottom of the steps. I used to be able to read him, but now we might as well be strangers.

"Because Taylor, it's become more than you just being a friend and helping them out! I don't know what happened, but you're not here anymore. Even when you are, your mind is miles away. Sometimes I wonder if your heart is too. I mean c'mon, you just referred to you and Punk, as 'us.' Did you not even notice that?"

"Honestly, I didn't. What do you want me to say John? What can make you just drop all of this?" I asked quietly but exasperated at the same time. He picked up his suitcase, and shrugged. Checking his watch, he opened the door, and getting ready to knock, were my parents. The older woman smiled, and then quickly frowned, obviously sensing that something was going on. Dad saw the luggage in John's hand and narrowed his eyes.

"Mom, Dad! I thought you wouldn't be here until tomorrow?" I questioned, noting their horrible timing.

The Game responded,

"We thought we'd surprise you. John, son, where are you going to exactly?" Dad directed his attention away from the upset daughter, and looked to my boyfriend for answers. I silently hoped that John wouldn't bring up what's happened.

"Hey Hunter, I'm just heading to see my family back in West Newbury for a bit. I promised my folks forgetting that you guys were coming over," he looked up at me, and I wanted so badly for things to be okay. Then I saw Punk. He wasn't anywhere near us, but when I closed my eyes, he was all I could see. Quickly my eyes opened again, and John continued, "So we decided this time I'd go alone." Walking back up the stairs, we kissed, so softly that it's almost like it didn't happen.

"I love you John," I whispered. Then with a nod and goodbye, he was off. He didn't say 'I love you' back to me. Trying to hide the pain and confliction in my heart, I shrugged it off, and then lead my parents to the guest room. Once they put their things down, I immediately was in my dad's arms. Not crying; my tear ducts are all out of tears. Mom stood by, and I pulled away then hugged her. Before I pulled away, Mom whispered,

"I expect you to fill me in on the details."

I laughed, but deep down, I was hurting. Everyone's lives were moving on, and I'm just stuck. A few minutes later, I got a text from Punk asking if I could watch Emma tonight; he had a date. Holding it my pain, I told him I would.

Apparently I was really out of it later that night during dinner. So out of it, I didn't see that my dad had left to go somewhere, leaving just me and Mom. She pulled the dining table chair next to mine, and spoke softly,

"Taylor, honey are you okay?" In that moment, with her voice so soft and nurturing, it felt okay to admit things weren't okay. That it was normal and okay to be weak and just want things to get better; to finally cry, and admit that I'm not strong. I never have been.

"No," I began crying.

She sighed,

"Is it about John?"

"No! No, well at least that's not the only thing. I just feel so guilty." She looked at me confused and I explained of how I knew about Hope and her condition. How I felt miserable that I just let her die. Then, with tears in her eyes, she asked about John and Punk.

"What happened before we showed up Taylor?"

"We fought, again. He accused me of not loving him anymore. That he doesn't own my heart anymore."

She nodded, and then knew what I meant. After a moment she spoke again,

"You love him don't you? Punk I mean."

"I liked him a long time ago. Then Hope came and fell for him, when John was single again. I always wanted John and didn't realize how Punk and I felt about each other, so Hope and Punk got together. I love John, but how can I look him in the eyes and tell him I love someone else too? How can I be in love with Punk and want him when he was always Hope's? How is it fair that everyone's moving on with their lives and Hope can't? Why can't it be me who died?" I couldn't believe I said that out loud; admitted all of the things I've been holding in. It's almost been six months; I guess that's a lot to hold in.

"Taylor, don't ever say that it's you who should be dead, and Hope's death isn't your fault either. Honey, you shouldn't stop living because Hope did. She'd want you to be happy, regardless of whom with. I loved her like another daughter, and don't get me wrong I miss her too. But all things, whether they make you the happiest person on the planet or hurt like hell, happen for a reason. Maybe, John's not the one for you. "

"But what if I'm the one for him?"

"Girlie, he hasn't done anything to show you that he wants you forever."

"Neither has Punk though, Mom." I added, still feeling the need to defend John.

"Right, but he can't, can he? As far as he's concerned, you're still John's. Taylor, you need to stop punishing yourself. I saw the text and Phil's going on a date tonight, right?" She continued without confirmation from me, knowing she was right. "I know that upset you, but he needs to know it too. You obviously love them both, but don't let Hope be your excuse. You have to stop hiding from your heart sooner or later."

"What if I just want him because he has a family? Something I want. I mean, that could just be why."

"Princess, if that's the case, you would've figured that out long ago. You're smart enough, and Phil wouldn't have pursued you had he thought that."

I took in all she said and knew she was right. It was crazy how well she really knew me, and I was fortunate enough to have a mom and best friend at times. We sat there and I knew I'd have to make a decision. I loved them both, but in a way, loved one more. Sighing I checked the time; 7:30. Standing up, I looked back down at her.

"Thank you. I would continue this, but I have a little girl to go baby sit. Shalene has to head back home for work. Love you, and if dad comes home before me, let him know."

She nodded, and with a goodbye, I was headed back to Punk's.

Meanwhile, Hunter went to find Punk. The older man found him walking around the park, in the dark, with a fiery redhead. Punk felt a presence and looked up, to meet a grim looking Triple H. Then he thought of Taylor, and knew that this date with Lita was a mistake. Soon the two were face to face. Why would Hunter be here? Punk wondered, and when then he opened his mouth,

"Is Taylor okay?" The redhead narrowed her eyes at him, and knew that she was just a distraction. Not if she had it her way.

The taller man shook his head,

"No Phil. I need to talk to you; now."

The Straight Edge superstar had no clue what it was about, but he looked over at the girl,

"Amy, I think you should head home."

"But Punk," she protested, "our date isn't over yet."

"Lita, you need to go. I have something important to do, and you aren't it. I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out." With a huff, Lita was on her way. Plus, Hunter is an intimidating dude when he's on a mission. After she left, the two pro wrestlers were walking around the park, silent until Hunter spoke up.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your date son, but I needed a word with you."

Phil nodded, knowing what it was about.

"It's fine. How'd you find me?"

Triple H laughed as if it was a dumb question.

"Taylor always said you'd come here to think. Speaking of Taylor, what have you done to my little girl?" He accused in a gruff voice. The Chicago born man sat down on the bench, and soon Hunter followed suit. Phil knew that he'd get questioned sooner or later. John told him the story when Hunter came to visit after Taylor first moved in with him. The Game is a nice guy, just not when his daughter is involved. Everyone in the WWE knew that if you ever messed with her, you'd answer to him.

"Hunter, I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to beat around the bush. I love your daughter. I always have. She wants John so I'm trying to move on the best I can. I haven't done anything to her."

"Letting her go, and loving her are the only things I can think of. Listen, I'm not going to bullshit you. She loves you too. She loves John. I however, always liked you and Tay together better than her and Cena." He didn't know what to think when Taylor's dad said that. He figured John would be the ideal match for his daughter; most parents would turn away at the site of Punk.

"Why? He's Super Cena."

He turned around and finally faced Punk. Not in many years has the younger man ever been this nervous. Not even when he proposed to Hope; after she hinted at a ring the twentieth time.

"You remind me a lot of me, when it was just Taylor and me. It isn't about me; Taylor will be with whomever she wants. The point is, I think you could love her more than John. He's practically married to his work. He can't give her his all, and she deserves better than that. Don't get me wrong, I like Cena, I do. I just think that he isn't the one for her."

Finally, Punk thought, someone who agrees with me.

"Well, thanks. But man, she's Hope's best friend. I couldn't do that to her."

"Sometimes," the man began, choosing words carefully, "you have to do what will make you happy, and to hell with everyone else. You both need to stop using another person as an excuse to hide and run from how you feel. Go be with her, but don't be a little girl and run from it. Grow a pair." On a second note he added, "Oh, and this stays between us. Taylor doesn't like me meddling in her love life. I'm just here when she's making a huge ass mistake."

The two men laughed and caught up for a few minutes. Then, Punk left and went home to Taylor and Emma-Lynn; his home.

I lay Emma-Lynn down for bed. After hours of watching Scooby-Doo, and keeping her preoccupied, she was finally passed out. As she opened her eyes, I didn't see Hope as much as I used to. Her eyes were beginning to get darker, and turn to hazel; like Punk's.

"M….momma." She giggled then fell back asleep like she never woke up in the first place. My heart thudded in my chest. She called me momma. Yet I'm not. However, I don't feel like correcting her. I'm so sick and tired of trying to force things to be a certain way. It's about time to just let things play out. That's always how I used to be…before. Anyway, I headed back downstairs and began picking up Emma's toys. Then the door opened and I saw Punk. I looked at him, then looked away. I tried to get images of him and Lita out of my head. How'd I know it was her? Mickie texted me after Lita texted her complaining that Punk kicked her to the curb after my Dad showed up. Thank God Dad left him in one piece.

"What, no welcome home?" His voice made me shiver. I turned around to face him.

"No. Now how was your date with the redheaded whore?" He smirked and I rolled my eyes.

"What," he began as he followed me further into the living room, "are you jealous? Because I'm pretty sure I heard jealousy in that voice of yours."

Turning around, his arms were crossed. He was clad in a pair of jeans and his grey 'Best in the World' shirt; so much for incognito. Narrowing my eyes, I shot back,

"No, but I do have a problem with watching your daughter while you're out fucking some bitch!" I didn't realize how angry I was until I said it. Anger flashed through his face, and I headed toward the door. That is until he grabbed my arm and whirled me around to face him.

"No. I'm not letting you leave this time. I'm not John, Taylor. You argue with me, and I'll argue right back, if not more. I won't let it slide and walk away with my tail tucked between my legs!" How dare he say something like that about John?

"John has nothing to do with this! This about us Punk! Okay?" He looked taken back, and I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and then continued. "John left today to go see his folks. Before he did, he said he didn't think that he had my heart anymore. He has some of it, but not like before; before you happened to me." I opened my eyes, and couldn't read his face. I backed up, until I was at the first stair up to the upper part of the house. "It started out as a promise but-"

"But what Taylor?" He asks, stepping closer.

I sighed,

"But it became so much more. Dammit Punk! I fell in love with you. I love you and I am so sick and tired of trying not to love you. I know there's other people involved, but I'm sick of hiding from what my heart keeps saying. It's saying it wants you. I'm tired of lying anymore. Phillip Brooks, I love you and I'm afraid it may never go away."

In an instant, Punk's lips were on mine feverishly. I didn't fight and I didn't plan on ever again. He pulled away and his eyes bore into mine,

"Don't let them. I love you Taylor Calaway. I'm not letting you go, and I'm so fucking done with not being able to kiss you, and touch you. I need you so bad right now."

He said huskily as he ground his bulge into my center. I let out a moan in agreement, and hoisting me up and carrying me into his bedroom. Slamming me against the wall, he began sucking and biting on my neck as I busied myself with taking off his shirt, then our lips were locked once again. Our tongues fought for dominance, and neither of us wanted to give in. Then he let me go, and began taking off all my clothes, but left me in my bra and panties. He kissed down my neck, and then landed on my stomach, leaving butterfly kisses. I pulled him up, then took off his belt, grinning mischievously all the while.

Once he was down to a pair of plaid blue boxers, he picked me up then laid me down on his unmade bed. Getting up on my elbows, I smiled at him, then things slowed down. Caressing all of me, he took off my remaining garments, and then peeled off his boxers. Crawling up my body, he settled in between my legs.

"You're so beautiful Taylor. I don't want to hurt you." He whispered into the flesh of my neck. I pulled away then looked into his hazel eyes and I got lost. Yet, found myself not wanting to find my way out.

"No, you won't," I whispered then kissed him. Eagerly he kissed back, and then slowly thrusted his way in. I gasped at the action, but quickly the discomfort washed away. As we moved in sync, he laced our hands together above my head. He left hickies on my neck, I'm sure. I pulled away my hands, then scratched at his back as he thrusted deeper and faster into me. His other hand went onto my back, holding my body closer to him.

"P….Punk," I gasped, "I'm going to-"

"Shit, Taylor."

Several minutes later, we laid there all wet and sweaty. His fingers were running through my matted hair, and Punk kissed my forehead. Smiling into his chest, I felt okay, and not too guilty. Does that make me a horrible person?

"Stop thinking T, I can't hear my thoughts." I laughed looking up at him,

"I don't want to hear your thoughts. But no, you don't regret that, do you?"

I could hear him shaking his head,

"No. I regret not doing that sooner. Now go to sleep."

"What if Emmie wakes up?" I asked yawning.

"Then, I have her. Don't worry; I can take care of a baby, smart one." I rolled my eyes, then spoke again,

"She called me momma today." I held my breath, fearing his reaction. He could get pissed and scream, be happy, or just not care. I'm not sure which I was hoping for.

"How'd that make you feel, because personally, I'm okay with it. She'll know that her biological mom is Hope. Obviously, but I mean you kind of are a mom figure."

I tried to hide my tears, but Punk saw and wiped them away, furrowing his eyebrows. I shook my head, letting him know I was okay. Then kissing him one last time, I rolled over.

"I love you Punk."

"We love you too Taylor."

Punk then pulled me closer to his chest, and wrapped a tattooed arm around me, pulled my body closer to his. With one last glance at the baby monitor, I fell asleep, before my guilt set in. Still, for the first night in a long time, I felt full. I felt needed, and loved. I felt like I had a….family.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a week later. Punk and I, were working on painting the few rooms in his house; ones that usually looked so grim. As I continued to try and paint the wall, Punk kept trying to kiss my neck.

I giggled,

"Phillip Jack Brooks, stop right now or else you'll have yellow in your hair!"

Turning around, he had this sarcastic smirk on his face. Then he replied, with that smirk still intact,

"It wouldn't be the first time I have yellow in my hair Taylor. You know what I think?" he began taking the paint roller out of my hand, and sat it in the paint bin.

"What do you think?" I smiled, and then he pulled me to him and continued talking,

"I think that we should take a break from this," kissing my neck, he tried getting me to cave into him. I tried to resist, but my body had other ideas, "and maybe go take a nap or relax a while."

"Phil, we need to get this done." He muttered something I couldn't understand into the crevice of my neck. Then as if my saving grace, my cellphone rang.

Pushing him away, I sprinted to get my phone from the kitchen, Punk chasing me the whole way. The number was an unknown number, and I automatically assumed the worst. Can you blame me?

"Hello?"

"Is this a Miss Helmsley?"

Punk looked at me questioningly as I told the woman on the phone it was me. My worst fears were brought to life when the nurse, same nurse that worked on Hope said,

"Your mom asked me to call. Your father had a heart attack. He's in room 547. Come soon." Then she hung up.

The room started spinning and I was shocked that I heard Emma wake up from her nap. I felt as if my knees were giving out, and needed the countertop to hold me up. This can't be happening, I thought, not now, not ever.

"Taylor, baby girl, what's wrong?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but it didn't even feel like me.

"Daddy…he had a heart attack….hospital. This can't happen again; I can't lose him too."

Punk scooped me up and tried soothing me. Soon the two of us were heading to the hospital, after dropping Emma-Lynn off with Shalene.

"He's going to be okay T. He's your father and the Cerebral Assassin after all."

I couldn't find my voice, and could merely nod. As Punk tried to get me to talk, all I could think about was how much I wished John were here, him being the one to comfort me; the one to love me.

Sitting in the waiting room was the most scared I had been in my life, and not to mention nerve wrecking. I had to make sure Mom was calm. She wasn't saying anything, but was just staring off. I stood up, and began pacing, until Punk who had to make a phone call a while ago, stood up and placed his hands on my shoulders to get me to stop.

"He's going to be okay Taylor-"

"You don't know that Punk! I mean the doctors won't tell us anything! Mom's mute and I just…." I started crying and the look on Punk's face was pure horror. As if he wasn't sure it'd be okay to comfort me. He did anyway.

"Thank you for being here, Phil. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He offered a smile, but it didn't quite reach his hazel eyes. Then he kissed my forehead and whispered,

"I think you're about to find out." He let me go, and walked away with Mom, towards the cafeteria. How he talked her into going with him, I'll never know. Punk's very tempting and persuasive when he wants to be. Still, I was totally confused as to why Punk was acting so odd, but then I heard his voice.

"Taylor!" Turning on my heel, I saw John, and he was heading this way. My heart started pounding in my chest, and I thought I was going to faint or cry. Instead I chose the latter. His blue eyes looked empty, as if something were missing. He looked the same though; dimples, muscle, and the way he made me feel as if everything would be okay, and I didn't have to question if it were the truth or not.

"Johnny?" I whispered, and then he pulled me into his muscular arms, and held me tighter than he had in such a long time. How sweet he was being, and seeing him again nearly broke my heart.

"Shh. I'm so sorry about everything pretty girl. I shouldn't have flipped on you. I'm never leaving you again, I promise." I pulled away and stared up at him. He took this as cue to lean down and kiss me, and I kissed him back. God, did I miss him. The guilt of what has happened immediately started bubbling in the bit of my stomach like hot magma in a volcano, and I wondered how long it'd stay a secret before it all was out in the open. I let him hold me, until I had an epiphany. I never called John telling him to come home, or even about my dad. So, why is he here now?

"I love you Taylor Lynn." Our sapphire eyes met, and I got lost in them. Three things I was absolutely positive; one: I love John, two: I love Punk, and three? I'm the worst person on the planet for what I did and whatever I would end up doing.

"I love you too, John. How'd you know about all this?"

He smiled, and for the first time in so long his dimples were on full display. My heart warmed at the thought of him not being hurt, at my hands, for once in the past months.

"Punk called me and told me that Hunter had a heart attack, and that you were shaken up. I had to get here Taylor. I thought maybe you'd need me again."

The way his deep voice was so soft and almost hesitant at saying again, only added to my guilt. I knew that I had caused the rift between us, but maybe it had been there for some time now, and I was the only one who noticed it.

"Oh, I didn't know he did," I muttered, but just as quickly hugged him again, "I missed you John. I'm sorry too."

As he kissed my forehead then held me again, I saw him standing there watching. The right side of my head rested on John's chest, but I had a clear view of Punk who stood by the exit doors, arms crossed. His expression was solemn, as if he tried to mask his feelings. A part of me wished he would come over here and do something, plus I was still confused why he contacted John. For a split moment, I thought I saw a tear in Punk's eye, but he turned on his heel and left out the automatic sliding doors before my mind could clearly decide or not. I kept watching the doors, even after he was long gone and the nurse said my dad would be fine. I wondered whether he not only walked out of the hospital, but my life for good or not, and most importantly, did he just make my decision for me?

"No Dad," I began, "You are not coming on the road so soon! You just got out of the hospital for Christ's sake," I told Dad as he followed me into the house, as we came back from lunch. John was going back on the road soon, and I was going with him. It's been another month since his heart attack, and also the last time I saw Phil or Emma. I tried hiding it, in every hug or kiss with John, but the fact of the matter is that I miss them. Punk and Emma have become so important to me, but I just can't go back to him; despite the fact that we left things on a bad note. Well, at least a questionable one.

"Taylor, but think," he said coming in front of me which prevented me from opening the door, "more quality time before the new baby comes. Throwing out your old man already?" Dad seemed nervous, which he never is. Then his phone vibrated and he checked it. That's when it hit me that he was hiding something.

"Daddy, what did you do?" I asked wary, and he gave me a shit eating grin, one much like my own, then stepped aside. Giving him a weird look, I carefully opened the door, and then walked onto the hardwood leading further into the living room. "Hello, anyone-"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I must've jumped three feet in the air. Once I reached the living room, there were guests all over, a banner, a shit ton of balloons, and a huge ass cake visible in the kitchen. John stood in the center of it all, until he came my way.

"Happy Birthday baby, I love you, so much." My muscular boyfriend pulled me into his arms as he softly kissed my neck. I felt so much love for John, and was elated that he remembered, in the midst of everything. Looking up, I saw Punk, with Emma in his arms, standing off in the corner. As Mickie tried talking to him, all he was looking at was me. I swallowed hopefully not audibly, and pulled away from John, tears prickling like needles in my blue eyes.

"Hey, are you okay? We didn't mean to make you cry," John spoke as everyone continued on. I nodded as Dad came and hugged me, then Mom.

"Hunt, we so got her, I told you we would!" Mom exclaimed, and I laughed at her enthusiasm. She always loved throwing me birthday parties. I nodded, and thanked them both, along with everyone else, until I came up to Punk. He was nowhere to be found, and then as if on instinct, I walked further into the kitchen. There, looking out the sliding door window, as he watched Colby play with Mira and Emma, was Punk. Clad in jeans and his old Ramones T-shirt, he still managed to cause my head to spin, and my heart to pound. I prayed to God it was just my nerves.

"Hi Taylor," he said as if he knew it'd be me. Taking a step forward, I braced myself for the verbal beating I knew I deserved.

"Hey stranger, long time no talk." He nodded gruffly, and I wound up by his side. Glancing out at the site, Colby stared back at me as we locked eyes. As if he knew everything that had transpired the war between my head and heart, his eyes looked back, knowingly, and in that moment I feared he'd tell John, but his nod that came a beat later relieved me of that worry. Turning away, I looked back up at Punk, and it was hard not to hug him, or try to bring him solace.

"Phil, listen I-" He chuckled mockingly, then after hesitating began talking, without looking at me,

"You deserve a hell of a lot better than this Taylor. You're settling for John and we both know it. Everyone loves Superman over someone like me…or Batman. You think he's Superman, but even Superman has weaknesses, or did you not pay attention to the comics?"

"I was more into the animated series, sorry to burst your bubble Punk. You don't know John like I do, and who the hell are you to judge me? Especially John, what the fuck did he ever do to you?" In that moment I knew this wouldn't fix any problems, but I couldn't stop myself from bashing him. Maybe the fact that I love him, and he seemed not to care or the fact that he walked out on me at the hospital, had me pissed at him. Then again, what did I expect him to do, fight for me? This is C.M. Punk; he doesn't do fighting for girls, just his championships. "Plus, you called him!"

His hazel eyes went wide, and I knew I hit a nerve,

"I did it because that's how it's supposed to be Taylor. You and John, right? You and I weren't anything but a mistake."

I turned away and didn't know how to reply. My heart was broken, and I wish I didn't know why. As if he knew something was wrong, John walked in.

"Hey," his blue eyes were wide and confused, "I wondered where you were, birthday girl," he wrapped his arms around me, and I stood there like a rock, "Hey Punk, thanks for coming man." Punk nodded and John looked between us, sensing the tension. "What are you two arguing over?"

I thought for a moment, then shook my head, and stood up on my tip toes, kissing John. I didn't want him knowing anything, especially if it was just a mistake as Punk put it.

"Just comics," Phil offered and before he could reply, I pulled John away. As we stood in the hall of the kitchen, John went ahead, not realizing I walked back into the kitchen.

"Oh, and Brooks?"

The Best in the World spun around, a smug smirk on his face.

"What Helmsley?"

I ruefully smiled, and replied,

"Some people may like Superman more than Batman. I always choose Batman over Superman, any day."

With that, and before I could see his expression, I walked away. Maybe now he'll know how it felt.

Hours later, it was down to Punk, John, and me. Colby and his wife, Haley, took Emma-Lynn for the night. As the three of us sat at the coffee table splitting a cheese pizza from Pizza Hut, courtesy of Haley, the guys were talking like normal, and I thanked God for that.

"So John, you ready to go back on the road?" Punk asked, but something was different on how he asked it. John gave him a look,

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. When you coming back man, it's been four months already."

Looking between the two of them, curiosity was about to kill me here. I mean they were fine until now.

"I don't know yet man. So, what's been happening on the road, Johnny-Boy? Ya know, any new fans you've met?"

Anger began gracing his features, and I looked at Punk, who had a sly, yet self-satisfying smile. I decided to jump in,

"John, what the hell is he getting at?" Then I looked at Punk but he shrugged in response.

"Nothing Taylor, he's being a dick is all."

Punk stood up, fury in his eyes,

"No T," he used his nickname he originally gave me, and John I could tell was seeing red when he stood up, fists clenched. "I'm not the dick here. At least I don't lie to your face."

"Punk, get out now. You've done enough, don't you think?"

"Well Johnny-boy, are you hinting at something?"

Thoughts ran through my head, and I wondered what each man knew. Someone was going to tell me something. Now.

I stood up,

"Both of you shut the fuck up and tell me what the hell is going on. Dammit John, what is Phil talking about?" Looking in his direction, John looked pained, and I questioned his reason.

"I love you Taylor….so much….I…just…"

"Johnny," I spoke softly, hating myself for sounding so weak, "Say it. Please."

"Tay, I'm so sorry. I…cheated on you. I slept with someone else." I couldn't believe this was happening.

My eyes went wide, and a sob escaped me right as Punk's right fist connected with John's jaw. Happy Birthday to me.


	8. Chapter 8

Punk and John were literally wrestling around and even landed on the coffee table; breaking it into pieces. My heart was broken, and I was paralyzed, or at least stuck to my spot. The two kept throwing punches. Both were yelling at each other while they were at it.

"You son of a bitch, I can't believe you'd do that to her!"

"Fuck off Punk! This isn't your family!"

Those words caught my attention; family. A word that used to remind me of this house, my parents and siblings, me and John, and then any kids we would have. Never in a million years did I think that I would ever consider having all that with Punk. He was always Hope's, but maybe, just maybe, he wasn't meant to be hers. Blood was on the hardwood, and the two WWE Superstars were beating the hell out of each other, as I just stood there like an idiot.

"Guys, enough; break it up!" I tried yelling at them repeatedly after this, but nothing would stop them.

I didn't think anything would, until,

"Why do you care Punk?" John rolled over, so he was on top of Phil, which gave him the upper hand. Phil looked at me from his peripheral vision and replied,

"Because I LOVE her!"

I threw my hands over my mouth, and John threw one last punch, and then pulled away from him. John went off into the corner, throwing his fist through the wall. I screamed and John turned around to face me, and Punk who gradually found his balance. He loves me? He said we were a mistake, how could he say that but not mean it? Both men had blood on their shirts, John had a fat lip, but it was Punk with the black eye. I wasn't sure who looked worse, but somehow I highly doubt the outside mirrored how they really felt; if looks could kill…

"You what?" John asked; venom evident in his deep voice. Like an idiot I stood there. I know it's cowardly, but what could I do? Everything was coming to blows and I had no clue if one of them would go ape shit crazy or what. The truth too being that I loved them both, and refused to pick a side right now, especially with tension this paramount. Looking between them, it was hard to believe things had come to this.

"I said," Punk began coming near me, John saw and did too, but I backed away from both of them. Phil stopped but continued, "That I love Taylor. I'm in love with her Cena. That's why I care so damn much." Punk looked at me, and I looked back. I wanted this all to stop, but we all knew things weren't that easy.

"You say that like I won't kick your ass, again Brooks."

I stood up for once in the past twenty minutes,

"No, you won't touch him John-"

"Why the hell-"

"Phil is leaving, that's why."

He looked shocked, and John looked pleased.

"Taylor, you can't be serious?"

"As a heart attack, now go."

With one last look at me, Punk walked over to John, and as the two were eye to eye he spoke,

"You don't deserve her. You make me sick."

With that, he walked out, slamming the door. John stopped his glaring to look back at me, his icy blue orbs shameful,

"Tay-" John began, but I just shook my head. Then, without a thought I sprinted outside, to the driveway where Punk stood getting into his car, leaving John, which I've done a lot, inside.

"Why?" I screamed, "Why didn't you tell me? Philly you knew all this time."

I folded my arms and he slammed his car door. Anger filled his words, but I wasn't afraid of him, never have I been. He bit his lip then shook his head, getting that look on his face. The one he got when he was laying his shit bare, a look I knew all too well.

"I heard the rumors, confronted him, and he owned up to it. I didn't tell you because it wasn't my place."

I shook my curls,

"No, there's more to it than that. You said we were a mistake, but yet you love me?"

Running his tattooed hand through his hair, the Chicago native sighed,

"I thought saying that would make it easier because I'm so in love with you it hurts Taylor. I thought it'd be easier to pull away and try not to be attached. I didn't tell you because I wanted to be your first choice. I didn't want you to pick me by default." He stared away, and a look of brokenness was evident on his handsome face. I wanted to reach out and touch his face, kiss him, and say okay. Hearing him, and watching him, hurt like hell, but I deserved it.

The fall temperature continued to drop, as we stood there in eerie silence. He began shivering, and by then I already was. Punk's hazel eyes looked me over, and a small grin appeared; shocking the both of us.

"Go back inside Taylor. You'll get sick out here. I'm leaving anyway."

"Punk, please, I'm sorry. Just…."

"Just what Taylor; you need to choose, because there is more than just me to consider. There's Cena, but more importantly my daughter who means the world to me."

I nodded, and he walked over, kissing my forehead. "You could be my world, if only you'd let me in." I stood dumbstruck as he drove away, until finally my freezing ass went inside the warm house. The warm heat gave me goose bumps, as I walked further into the house. In the living room, John cleaned everything up, but was sitting on the sofa, staring at a picture of us that now had shattered glass from the fall off the wall when he punched it. He acted as if he were too trying to fix the frame. I could see the tear down his cheek, but I was just numb. From the cold, but also the fact that he broke the one thing he had always promised me.

"You know," my voice hoarse I began and got the Cenation leader's attention, "you act as if cleaning things up and trying to fix the picture will fix us too."

John smiled slightly, and hesitantly replied back,

"I'm glad to see you're talking to me, Taylor I'm so-" I held up my hand, signaling him to shut up. Taking a deep breath, I finally let those tears escape.

"Why? Why the hell would you cheat?"

He sighed, and then walked towards the fire place. There were moments of eerie silence until John began again,

"It was before Hope died. I was drunk and I gave in. She was some fan. I know I fucked up, God I never should've said yes-"

"So wait, let me get this straight. You freaked out on me for being there for Punk, and nothing happened, but all along you slept with some whore months ago? Before anything between us happened!" He turned around, and the look on his face was a mixture of anger, worry, guilt, and love. How love was still on his face, I wouldn't understand. All this time I've felt guilty for having sex with Punk, and he did it with someone else long before anything ever happened between Punk and me.

"I was worried okay! I felt guilty and I just didn't want to lose you. I know sleeping with her wasn't the answer, and Taylor I would change it if I could, you know I would!"

I shook my head. This was all too much in one night. Things are so fucking crazy and a mess; this hole I've dug is too deep. I used to think things were always black or white, but now I see the grey in the world.

"No I don't, because I don't know you anymore John. The thing is that I've felt so guilty for what I'm about to tell you, but you already broke our promises long before I did."

He looked skeptical, and all he could ask was,

"What?"

"I slept with Punk. While you were gone, I gave into him."

It hit him like a ton of bricks, and I also realized that he and I will never be the same. We both cheated, but did either of us have the right to? John shook his head, and sat back down, head in his hands. I stood in front of him, crying and just wishing he'd hold me like he used to, but also knowing that I probably lost that right. Then again, he did too. John wiped a tear, and the look he gave me, made the tears come down harder down my cheeks, like an avalanche that would never stop rolling down the hill.

"I should be surprised, but I'm not. I pushed you away, and into his arms. I should be mad, but I cheated first and if I were pissed I'd be a hypocrite. Just, God, Taylor do you love him too?"

Now that's a fair question. How do you tell the guy that you've spent the past nearly three years with, and waited to be with before that, that you've fallen in love with someone else too?

"Yes," I whispered, "and I'm sorry. I know that won't help anything, but I truly am. I didn't know this was going to happen to us, John!"

He stood up and came closer to me. I stood there, not knowing what he would do. He's not a bad guy, so he wouldn't hit me. He never has, but we also have never been in this situation before either. Instead, he pulled me into his arms, and just held me. I stood there, in awe, but then wrapped my much more scrawny arms around his torso. Time passed by, and I felt him crying; near sobs wracked his body.

"I love you Taylor Lynn Helmsley, and I plan on fighting for you." I pulled away and looked at the determination on his face. I wanted him to fight for me, he never had to before, but I didn't know what to do. If Hope were here, I'd go to her, but she's not, and I can't. Letting go of John, I looked at him as if he had two heads.

"When did we become these people Taylor? We might as well be strangers anymore. I mean where do we go from here?"

I knew I had no right to be pissed at him, after all I slept with Phil, but technically John cheated first. Not saying that made what I did right by any means.

"I don't know anymore, about any of it. I just don't know John. You cheated-"

"So did you! I'm not the only guilty one! You fucked him! Hope would hate you for this-"

Right as he said it, he slapped his hand over his mouth. My body shook, and I didn't know what to do. I slapped him, but not even that helped me.

"Hope or you? I can't believe you threw that in my face. I can't keep fighting with you," I walked away and grabbed my keys, but I wasn't sure where I was going.

John followed me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him,

"Taylor I'm sorry! I didn't mean that, I was mad and I'm hurt. She'd never hate you, just please don't leave me again."

"If you're going to give out sorries that much, you should buy them in bulk; I know you are, but I can't stay here tonight."

"I'll take the couch if that's what you want."

I sighed and shut the door that I had begun to open. I wasn't sure what to do. I am Taylor Calaway, I always know what to do, and the fact that I don't now, scares the hell out of me.

"Thing is John, I don't know what I want anymore."

The sun shone through the window as someone, the person who I hated most right now, opened the blinds.

"Rise and shine," the deep voice boomed. I groaned then threw a pillow at him, but must've missed considering he laughed. "Jeez, I didn't think you hated me that much Tay."

I sat up and glared at the tattooed man, his eyes shown with amusement, and I couldn't help but laugh at his playfulness; a side people didn't get to see often. Shaking my head I stood up and the tall man came over and hugged me tightly. "It's going to be okay honey. Just please call John, he's been calling constantly. He's my friend, but he's getting fucking annoying, and I have a feeling it's all because of you my dear."

"I know Colby, but I can't talk to him yet. He woke up the next morning, and I was gone. I left a note saying I'd be here, but not to come see me. Why don't you hate me?"

Colby pulled away from me, and he looked shocked I asked, but then this look of guilt come over his face and it left me confused. Why is everyone so damn guilty lately?

"Colby Lopez, what aren't you telling me?" He walked away, trying to avoid the subject. "Colby John Lopez, if you don't tell me right now I'll be forced to tell some people the things that you say in your sleep, rather embarrassing things at that." That stopped him in his tracks as he spun back around to face me,

"You wouldn't dare Helmsley."

"Wanna bet Lopez? Now spill it."

He sighed and ran a hand through his buzzed-cut hair,

"I knew that John cheated on you," I went to open my mouth, but he stopped me, "and I also know that he's regretted it every day since. John loves you more than he loves anything in this world. Even his job, and maybe you've lost sight of that is all I'm saying." I nodded, but felt the need to get more information out of him,

"Did John tell you he doesn't want a family with me?"

His eyes went wide, and he stuttered,

"Wait what? Taylor, he wants all that with you. Maybe he didn't when you two spoke of it, but he does now."

"How do you know Colby?" I asked softly, and he smiled,

"I just do, and you'll have to trust me. Now come on, Hales made breakfast and Mira wants to see her aunt." I saw the genuine smile he got at the mention of his wife and daughter. Those two went through hell and ended up happier than ever and so in love. I could only wish for that one day. Colby walked down the stairs, leaving me with my thoughts. Trust; not a word I had a lot of these days. My stomach growled as I smelled the delicious aroma of pancakes, and I knew my thoughts and problems had to wait until later. Not that I minded at all.

Colby went and lay Mira down for a nap around noon; she was falling asleep in his arms, which left Haley and I alone. We sat outside on the patio, in a calming silence. That's the thing with Haley she always knew when you just needed to sit there, and she never made you talk. The older I got, the closer Haley and I got, after all our dads worked together, her being a Michaels. Also, the older I got the more I realized the differences in Haley and mine friendship compared to mine and Hope's. With Hope, we were friends since diapers and we had a past. Once we reached this age, we tried not to, but inevitably grew apart like all friends do. I think we just tried to act like we were the same people that we used to be. Now with Haley, she was more like me than I ever realized, especially when she began speaking of her and Randy's albeit rocky, relationship.

"You know, Colby and I went through a lot. We fought over a lot of things, and it was just hard to be with someone who was always gone. Then on top of his old temper problems, nothing ever was easy with us, ever. When Mira came along he changed, and I wouldn't change anything for the world. Now there was a guy I was involved with when I first met Colby. He was perfect and I was in love with him, and thought he was the one. I'm sure you aren't sure what I'm trying to get across to you. You've told me all about what's happened with you, John, and Phil. You and John have been through a great deal, and I'd hate to see all of that go down the drain over all this crap. Yet with Phil," I tried to hide the smile at his name, but Haley could see it, "things are different. You love him, and deep down you always have. Not saying who you should choose, but trust your heart, because you know who it's saying."

"I guess so, but God! They both probably hate me, especially Punk. I've put him through hell the past months. It's not fair to him or that baby girl. Do you think I fell for him because of what he can give me? Ya know a family?" Haley had an immediate answer, which shocked me.

"No, because I remember how you two were before Hope and John came into the picture. That's the past though, and this is your choice; your future. My point is that sometimes two people will go through obstacles to finally be together, the journey is the destination after all."

I took a moment to process everything she said, and I still wondered who she implied I should be with.

"So you're saying that Punk is the obstacle John and I have to go through?"

Haley was thoughtful as she took a sip of her steamy coffee,

"Eh, could be. Or maybe John and whoever else were the obstacles all along. What do you think?"

"That I need to see him."

She smiled, and nodded. I think that we both knew who my heart was with. Maybe we've both always known. Thanking her and Colby who wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply, I left the couple and got into my car, and then drove to see him.

I turned the knob, and opened the door, shutting it ever so softly. I wasn't sure what kind of mood he'd be in today. Walking deeper into the house I heard giggling, and my heart began pounding. Continuing into the kitchen, his back was to me, and neither of them saw me, or so I thought until I heard,

"Momma!" I smiled at her, and then I heard him ask what in confusion, until she started reaching behind him. He turned around, and then adjusted her so they both could see me.

I smiled at him, and he shockingly did too.

"There she is Emma-Lynn. Hello Taylor."

"Hey," I breathed as I walked closer to the father-daughter duo. He pulled me into an embrace, and my heart filled with so much love. If someone were to walk in, they'd think that we were already a family. Minutes later, Punk was putting away her food as I kept playing with Emma in her high chair. He let me feed and hold her, making me realize how much I missed that beautiful little girl. I felt him behind me, and I got chills when he spoke.

"You know, this is how every day could be. I'll help you get your things and you can just move in here with Emma and me. We both missed you Taylor. I love you and we can make this work." I turned around and saw him, and for the first time, I got to place my hand on his bearded face, and touch him. It felt like years since we've been here, when in reality it was probably only a month.

"It would be perfect Phil, but I can't right now. I have to go, but I wanted to see you two."

I pulled away my hand and kept walking until I heard his voice as I opened the driver's door of my car,

"You can't keep coming back and getting into my head Taylor. Just stay with us, we can be a family."

"I love you too Phil. I always have. I'll see you real soon okay?"


	9. Chapter 9

Just like that, I took off. Twenty minutes later, I was in John's living room. Looking around at all the pictures on the mantle, it was hard to believe that we're the people we are now. That we let things get this bad. That's the thing though; did we really let them get this bad? Or did the things we did and people we were begin changing right before our eyes and we just couldn't stop it from happening? The world continues spinning, and life continues on whether you are happy with the things you do in this world or not.

"Taylor?" I turned around as John came down the staircase. He was clad in a black wife beater and a pair of basketball shorts, his hair still damp from the shower. I smiled remembering all the things we did in there, and all the memories this house, holds; the memories that our hearts hold. It hit me in that moment that this just might be it, depending on whom or what I chose. Maybe I'll do what Kelly did in Beverly Hills, 90210 and choose myself over them. I always thought that was selfish when I was younger, but was it really?

"Hello, John. I thought we should talk."

He found his way right in front of me, and then led me over to the couch. He sat on the new table, placing his hands on my knees. He quickly leaned in and kissed my forehead, and we stayed like that; forehead to forehead, for a few minutes. It was like old times, but I think that's our problem too. We all spend too much time doting on the past and old feelings that we often lose sight of what we want, and where we're going.

"I didn't think you were ever coming back to me. I realized the possibility that I could wake up every day, without you, and that thought hurt-"

"John," I began, but he quickly put down my interruption,

"No, let me finish. I know we aren't the way we used to be. I know we hurt each other, but I forgive you for all of it, and I want you to forgive me too. I've loved you since I first saw you, and knew I wanted you. I told you not long ago that I didn't want to have a family. I was such an ass for even saying that, because I do want a family. I want one and I want it all with you Taylor." I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, John was on one knee, a little black box holding a diamond engagement ring in its embrace.

"Oh my God, John are you-"

"Taylor Lynn Helmsley, will you marry me?"

My heart was pounding profusely in my chest, that I thought I was going to have a heart attack right then and there. I wasn't sure what to say, I mean he offered me everything a girl would ever want. The thing was did I still want the same things? Did I still want them with John Cena? In my heart, I knew the answer. I knew it all along.

An hour later, I stood in front of Hope's gravestone; a place I hadn't been in such a very long time. I cleared more leaves, and the dead flowers, and placed a new bouquet of lilies on the site.

It's almost been a year since she's been gone, and it feels like a lifetime ago that I was able to see her. Hear her laugh, and watch our favorite TV shows together. The wind blew, and I wrapped my grey cardigan tighter around me, cursing myself for not wearing something warmer.

"Hey girlie, I know it has been too long, and I'm so sorry. God, for more than just not seeing you, but I'm sure you're up there watching all of this. I never intended for any of this to happen, and I just pray that you don't hate me for what I'm about to do. We miss you. I miss your laugh, and all your jokes. The way you'd say things that could be taken wrong, with a complete straight face," I wiped at a stray tear and then continued, but most of all, I just miss my best friend." The sound of twigs breaking and leaves crunching made me jump. Looking at the source of the noises that caught me off guard, I saw my Dad walking right towards me.

"Hey baby girl, I knew you'd be here." He pulled me into his arms, and I felt like a little girl again; too small for big girl problems.

"Daddy, how'd you-"

"I just did. I am your father after all."

I nodded and he pulled an envelope out of his pocket. I took it from him questioningly. 'Taylor' was on the front, in handwriting I knew all too well.

"Hope told me to give this to you if something were to happen to her. I lied to you honey, I knew about her condition, but promised to play along. She said to give it to you, when you needed it the most. I figured this would be the time." He knew, but I wasn't mad. Life is too short to spend getting mad at people.

"Okay, I'll read it. Thank you Daddy, I love you." He kissed my head, said no problem, and left. Taking a deep breath, I opened the letter:

'Dear best friend' the note began. I stood there and read it. After I was finished, all my tears were gone, and I was positive of my choice now. I knew it was the right one.

After long lines, I sat there in the local airport with two tickets to Las Vegas. Looking at his number, I pressed send, hoping he would say yes.

Meanwhile both John and Phil sat by their phones, both waiting and hoping that Taylor would call. Punk dropped his daughter off with Randy and Haleigh. John didn't go to the gym. John paced back and forth; Punk was staring out his bedroom window at the snow that slowly was falling. John couldn't believe how badly he fucked up; enough to push her away. He loved that girl with everything he had, but he knew that he needed her more than she'd ever need him; in a relationship that's a scary thought. He wanted a time machine to go back and fix this. They had been through too much; they were together for so long. Closing his eyes, he envisioned Taylor walking down the stairs, all the memories of her and them, and then her face as she walked down the aisle towards him, her Daddy at her side.

As Punk watched the snow fall, he pictured the three of them running around once Emma was old enough to. He could never regret Hope, she meant so much to him, but he couldn't deny the fact that he'd always loved Taylor. He let her go years ago thinking it was what was best; he'd never regret it because he loved his baby girl. Nor could he wish to take back the past months; although he'd never admit it, Punk didn't want to hurt John. He's a good guy, and a good friend. However, the fact was, he never let someone in the way he did Taylor, looking back, maybe not even Hope; though part of him would always love her. Yet, Taylor and John had a history people would be envious of. Taylor needed to call him because truthfully, he didn't know what he or Emma would do without her. That's what scared him most.

John's phone rang and he leaped to it,

"Hello?"

At the same time, Punk answered his phone,

"Yes?"

My breath caught in my throat as his voice answered his phone.

"Hey, it's me. I'm sitting at the airport with two tickets to Las Vegas. Want to get married tonight?"

After the most nerve wrecking phone call of my life, I wondered how things came to this, and whether he'd show, and whether or not I made the right choice. Then as I stood up, and the crowd cleared, I saw his face. The face of the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and when he smiled at me I knew I had made the right choice; no regrets. It was him all along.


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Best Friend,

If you're reading this, then I'm long gone and Mark told you the truth. Please don't hate me for not telling you that he knew, it was just easier that way. Don't be mad at him either. I want to thank you for being like a sister to me all these years, and now I'm thanking you for taking care of my family. Knowing Punk he hasn't made it easy. Hopefully John has been there for you through all of this. Now, if you have been looking out for Punk and the baby, you've fallen in love with him. How do I know? Because before I fell in love with him, he was in love with you, but you were always waiting for John, or just too scared to make a move when I knew you loved Punk back. Just know that I could never hate you if you did fall in love with him. So please, don't use me as a reason not to try, if that's what or whom you want. John and you are amazing together, and I only hoped to someday have what you two do. Or maybe did. My point in writing this letter was to tell you how much I love you, and am sorry for having to leave my "sister," and newborn baby, and Phil behind. Okay so this is getting rather lengthy, so I should probably shut up. I'll miss you and I'll see you again someday Tay-Tay. Always trust your heart, no matter what.

Love,

Hope

Epilogue, One Year Later:

It's been over a year since Hope's death. After reading her letter, I knew where my heart lay all along. I just needed some hope, in order to make the decision. A year ago today, I married the man I am spending the rest of my life with. Three months after we eloped in Vegas, he and I had a real wedding with friends and family, and my Daddy walking me down the aisle. Laughter could be heard from outside as I stood in our bedroom watching everyone play outside in the snow. Haley and Mira running around from Colby who was throwing snowballs.

I thought I was all alone in the house until I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind. Leaning into my husband's embrace, I felt his soft lips press a kiss to the crevice of my neck. I felt him chuckle, and then he began speaking,

"We wondered where you were Taylor. Hunter wanted to be the one to come in and check on you, but I told him I wanted to check on my wife." I laughed at the way he said wife; it sounded so foreign coming from him, but yet music to my ears. Looking down at our hands that were laced together on my small baby bump, I saw the silver of our wedding bands catch the sunlight and glow from the sticking white snow. Our hands were so different, but yet fit together so well. My index finger began tracing over the new tattoo on his right wrist; of my initials and then our daughter's.

"Mmm, your wife, God did you ever think we'd be here, and that things would be how they are?" He rested his chin on top of my shoulder, and shook his head,

"Not really, but I wouldn't change anything. Even though I still can't believe you of all people eloped-"

"You said yes!"

We busted out laughing at our banter, we always do. In our first year of marriage, we've fought a couple times, but nothing ever serious. He was going back on the road soon, and I couldn't wait to see him on TV again.

"You should come with me when I go back on the road especially since you're pregnant I don't want to leave you guys."

Turning around in his arms, he crushed his lips to mine.

"Maybe, we'll see. Now we should probably go outside before they think we're going at it and are afraid to come in the house."

He laughed as he began kissing my neck, and he murmured huskily into my ear, sending chills down my spine,

"Don't tempt me woman," he bit down on my neck, producing a groan to bubble passed my lips.

I pulled away and swatted at his chest,

"Phillip Jack Brooks!"

He grinned and mocked me,

"Taylor Lynn Brooks! What?"

"You're lucky I love you."

"Luck is for losers. But I love you too, more than anyone pretty girl." I rolled my eyes, and they widened when I saw who stood at our door.

Emma-Lynn smiled and let go of John's hand and stumbled towards us. Punk swooped her up, and then carried her down the stairs to get ready for the cold winter weather. Many would think things would be tense between us. These days aren't tense, but John would still look at us and I could tell it hurt; as if it should be us, married with the house and kids. It hurt me too, to see how much pain I caused. I spent so much of my life with John; I couldn't fathom him not being in it some way. I will always love John Cena, but just not the way I used to. He deserved better than me. I'll miss him, but I wouldn't change things right now for the world.

I softy spoke,

"Hey there Johnny."

"Hey T, long time no see." In an instant I was hugging him, and apologizing for hurting him; for how things had to be. He was holding back tears, and tried to be SuperCena as he responded,

"Hey, don't worry. I'm okay Taylor. I'll always love you; I just want you to know that. One day, maybe I won't in the way I did before, and the way I do. You and Punk are happy though, and that's all I ever wanted for you."

I smiled at him, and I knew things would be okay. Maybe not right now, but they would be soon. As we walked down the stairs laughing at something John said, everyone was gathered around the fire. I wondered when everyone actually came inside from the bitter cold.

"Momma, come…come." I laughed at Emma's talking attempt, and walked while I still can, over to my family. I sat in Punk's lap as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. Emmie and Mira played with blocks on the rug. Haley and Colby were sneaking kisses as she tried hiding her soon to be showing stomach.. John sat on the sofa laughing at whatever conversation everyone was in. I sighed happily as Phil tightened his arms. Things were finally calm and perfect; knock on wood.

"Hey Phil," I whispered.

"Are you okay, is it the baby?"

I grinned at his worry. Who'd of thought that Phil Brooks, CM Punk, The Best in the World, would be settled down and a family man? I never would have believed you over a year ago.

"We're both fine, everything is perfect. Thank you for being you, I love you so much."

He kissed me on the lips,

"Thank you for loving me and picking me. I love you too Mrs. Brooks." He rubbed my thigh in reassurance, and I fully rested against his muscular chest.

In life, you never know how things will pan out. People you never thought would even come into your life end up playing such an important part. You find hope and love in the smile of a child, the words 'I love you,' and in places you'd never expect. If you're lucky enough though, the person you love decides to love you back. Then before you know it, you're spending time in your own little piece of forever. I look around the room, at my friends, family, and love of my life, and I can't help but wish Hope could be a part of this, but she will always be in our hearts. As I step into a new chapter of my life, I know things will be okay because I have my forever. I have Punk, Emma, and the new baby in seven months, and that is more than I ever could have wished for.


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Best Friend,

If you're reading this, then I'm long gone and Mark told you the truth. Please don't hate me for not telling you that he knew, it was just easier that way. Don't be mad at him either. I want to thank you for being like a sister to me all these years, and now I'm thanking you for taking care of my family. Knowing Punk he hasn't made it easy. Hopefully John has been there for you through all of this. Now, if you have been looking out for Punk and the baby, you've fallen in love with him. How do I know? Because before I fell in love with him, he was in love with you, but you were always waiting for John, or just too scared to make a move when I knew you loved Punk back. Just know that I could never hate you if you did fall in love with him. So please, don't use me as a reason not to try, if that's what or whom you want. John and you are amazing together, and I only hoped to someday have what you two do. Or maybe did. My point in writing this letter was to tell you how much I love you, and am sorry for having to leave my "sister," and newborn baby, and Phil behind. Okay so this is getting rather lengthy, so I should probably shut up. I'll miss you and I'll see you again someday Tay-Tay. Always trust your heart, no matter what.

Love,

Hope

It's been over a year since Hope's death. After reading her letter, I knew where my heart lay all along. I just needed some hope, in order to make the decision. A year ago today, I married the man I am spending the rest of my life with. Three months after we eloped in Vegas, he and I had a real wedding with friends and family, and my Daddy walking me down the aisle.

Laughter could be heard from outside as I stood in our bedroom watching everyone play outside in the snow. Haley and Mira running around from Colby who was throwing snowballs. It is funny how things and people work out, isn't it? I thought I was all alone in the house until I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind. Leaning into my husband's embrace, I felt his soft lips press a kiss to the crevice of my neck. I felt him chuckle, and then he began speaking,

"We wondered where you were Taylor. Hunt wanted to be the one to come in and check on you, but I told him I wanted to check on my wifey." I laughed at how he said wifey; it sounded so funny yet serious coming from him, but yet music to my ears. Looking down at our hands that were laced together on my small baby bump, I saw the silver of our wedding bands catch the sunlight and glow from the sticking white snow. Our hands were so different, but yet fit together so well. My index finger began tracing over his ring and I felt so safe. Then again, it's impossible not to feel safe when he's near me; he's always had that effect on me. I was stupid for thinking that I could ever let him go. I laughed at him, and he fake pouted, until I turned my head to kiss him.

"Wifey? Only you would say that. Did you ever think that things would be how they are? Like that we'd end up this way?" The superstar thought for a moment, and a silly grin washed over his handsome face.

"Well, I always knew that I wanted to marry you, but I didn't think we'd have to go through what we did to end up here. Do you regret picking me?" The truth was, I knew I hurt the other guy. He let me in, and I chose someone else. I will regret hurting him, but I could never regret my husband.

"Never, because I love you so damn much. I just regret hurting him and you when I did." Things were ugly after we came back from Vegas. He didn't want to talk to me, and I hated myself for months. Then he told me he forgave me, and it lessened my guilt, but when he ended up coming to our wedding, and I knew then there was some hope in fixing things.

"You're a great person Taylor," I turned around in his arms and wrapped my hands around his neck as he continued, "I can't believe how close I was to losing you-"

"Hey, don't say that. The past is the past, and it's over. You'll never lose me." He muttered something about jinxing it, before he continued to kiss my neck.

"You should come on the road with me; both of you. I don't want to miss out on the baby." I kissed him sweetly,

"Maybe, we'll see. You know, we should go, they might think we're-" as if he read my mind he interrupted,

"Don't tempt me. Our bed is right there, and a shower in there," he pointed over to our personal bathroom. I laughed and playfully smacked his chest, and then put my hands on my hips.

"John Felix Anthony Cena Jr!"

"Taylor Lynn Cena!" He tossed back.

"You're lucky I love you Cena."

"See, I'd call you Helmsley, but that's not your last name anymore…" he trailed off and then kissed me again. I pulled away just as Punk stood at the door with Emma. John pulled away and the two men shared a nod, and John got down to Emma's level.

"Want to go play in the snow?" She nodded enthusiastically,

"Uncle John-John." The Cenation leader's dimples were on full display as he lifted her up, and carried her down the wooden stairs. I smiled at the two; he'll be a great dad.

There was an awkward silence, until he spoke up,

"I'm not mad at you T. I could never stay mad. I'm just hurt; more than I care to admit." I nodded, than carefully walked toward the Chicago native.

"Sorry will never be enough to how I hurt you Phil and I know that-"

"I'll always love you Taylor. You'll always be that one I wish I took while I had the chance. I don't regret you. It sucks seeing you guys together, but I'll be okay. I love you enough to let you go this time." I nodded, trying to hide my tears. I love him, I do. It's just not in the way that I do John; the way I've always loved John. I can't regret the time we spent together, but things weren't right. I never intended to hurt anyone, but I'm here and here is good. I'm happy with John, and if possible love him more now than I ever did before.

"Just please tell me that we're okay," I whispered, shocked I said it. His mouth formed a straight line, but then managed a small smile.

"We will be. We're best friends after all."

A few minutes later, we were walking down the stairs. Deep down, I knew things would take longer to get back to normal; if things would ever be again. Shaking it off, I went and sat in John's lap as Punk went and sat on the floor by the girls. Emma knocked him over with her hug, as everyone laughed and began a conversation over whatever. I wasn't paying attention; too busy with my thoughts. Emmie and Mira went back to playing with blocks on the rug. Haley and Colby were sneaking kisses as she tried hiding her soon to be showing stomach. John's arms tightened around me, and he kissed my shoulder.

"Is everything okay Mrs. Cena?" I grinned at him, hearing that would never get old. Yet we will, together and I'm so happy with that. I sighed in content.

"Hey John-"

"Are you okay, is it the baby?"

I grinned at his worry. Who would think tough-guy SuperCena, former WWE champion would be all worried like this? It was adorable in my opinion.

"We're both fine, everything is perfect. Thank you for being you, I love you so much."

He kissed me on the lips,

"Thank you for loving me and picking me. I love you too baby girl." He rubbed my thigh in reassurance, and I fully rested against his muscular chest.

In life, you never know how things will pan out. People you never thought would even come into your life end up playing such an important part. You find hope and love in the smile of a child, the words 'I love you,' and in places you'd never expect. If you're lucky enough though, the person you love decides to love you back. Then before you know it, you're spending time in your own little piece of forever. I look around the room, at my friends, family, and love of my life, and I can't help but wish Hope could be a part of this, but she will always be in our hearts. As I step into a new chapter of my life, I know things will be okay because I have my forever. I have John, my friends and family, and the new baby in seven months, and that is more than I ever could have wished for.


End file.
